Five in Wonderland: Five's Evidence (Final Part)

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"Five!"

Five's eyes snapped open in surprise. He didn't realize he was frozen until Grace lightly tapped his tall leg as she stirred temporarily awake, "That's you, dear."

"Here!" He shouted, forgetting how large he had grown in the last few minutes, and he jumped up in so much of a hurry that he almost tipped over the jury box.

"What do you know about this business?" Lana the Red Queen said to Five once he reached the witness stand.

"Nothing."

"Nothing whatever?" She persisted.

"Nothing whatever."

"That's very important." Lana said, turning to the jury. When the White Reginald Rabbit interrupted, they were just starting to jot this down on their slates. "Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course." He said that with a respectful tone but a frown on his face.

"Of course, I meant unimportant." Lana the Red Queen hurriedly stated, and then continued in hushed tones to herself, "Important, unimportant, unimportant, important..." Like she was trying to figure out which word sounded best.

Some of the jury wrote it down as "important", and some "unimportant". Because he was close enough to glance over their slates, Five noticed this. 'But that doesn't matter.' He thought to himself in annoyance, a temper beginning from being surrounded by illogical actions.

"Stop!" The Handler of Hearts yelled then read from her book, "Rule 42. 'All persons more than a mile high to leave the court'."

Everybody looked up at Five. "I'm not a mile high!" Five defended in offense. "You are." Lana the Red Queen said. "Nearly two miles high." The Handler of Hearts said.

"Well I'm not going. That's not even a normal, logical rule, you invented it just now."

"It's the oldest rule in the book." The Handler of Hearts said with a challenging look. "Then it should be Number One." Five stated in cockiness.

The Handler of Hearts glared and slapped her book closed. In a demanding, angry voice she said to the jury, "Consider your verdict."

"Please your Majesty, there is more proof to come," the White Reginald Rabbit mentioned, leaping to his feet. "This paper has just been picked up." Lana the Red Queen said, "What's in it?"

"I haven't opened it yet," the White Reginald Rabbit explained, "but it appears to be a letter from the prisoner to someone." "It has to be that," Lana the Red Queen answered, "unless it was written to no one, which isn't unusual, you know." "Who is it directed to?" Inquired one of the jury members.

"It's not directed at all," the White Reginald Rabbit explained, "in fact, nothing is written on the outside." As he spoke, he unfolded the paper and said, "After all, it isn't a letter: it's a set of verses."

Another jury member asked, "Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?" The White Reginald Rabbit stated, "No, they're not and that is the queerest thing about it." The jury were all perplexed.

The Handler of Hearts remarked, "She must have emulated someone else's hand." The jury members' faces brightened once more.

"Please your Majesty, I didn't write it, and they can't prove it because there's no name signed at the end." Vanya the Knave pleaded. "It only makes matters worse if you don't sign it," Lana replied. "You had to be up to something, or you wouldn't have signed your name like an honest woman."

There was a round of applause because it was the Red Queen's first truly clever remark of the day. The Handler stated, "That proves her guilt."

"It proves nothing at all!" Five snapped, his knowledge of law boiling with anger at this amateur court. "You have no idea what they're about!"

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