Chapter 86

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I heard my door open and rolled over as Judith walked in. She was taller now, long brown hair similar to mine, our faces were alike, there was no denying we were sisters. "Morning." I sat up, grabbing my sweater pulling it over my head. "I did something bad Leah." I raised my eyebrow, "what did you do?" She sighed, "I brought a group of people here, my moms going to make them leave."

I pushed myself up, "Judith there are rules, and although I break them very frequently, doesn't mean you should." We did have strict rules about new comers, and they were very straight forward, no one new was to be accepted into Alexandria. They were put in place for a good reason too, one that haunts me everyday, something that stuck with me more than watching my Dad blow himself up, or shooting Carl and my mom. Something I hadn't found the strength to tell anyone besides the people who were there when it happened, other people knew about it, but they just didn't understand how bad it really was.

"I know, but they needed our help." I stood up, walking downstairs and then out to our steps where Michonne was talking with Gabriel and Aaron on the steps. "Morning." Aaron smiled. I gave him a small smile back, "I heard about what happened." Michonne sighed, "I'm sorry, I was about to come and tell you. We're having a board meeting later, can you make it?" I shook my head, "it doesn't matter to me who these people are, you know my vote, and you know why I'm voting that way."

Aaron nodded, "are you going to the bridge again?" I gave him a small smile, "that's where I've been going everyday for five years." I found my horse and nodded for a guard to open the gate. When I got there I pulled my map out marking the route I planned to take today.

"Haven't seen you in a while." I turned to see Daryl. I smiled, "we must have been checking different routes." He walked over putting his arms around me and I held on tightly. "How ya doing kid?" I sighed, "I'm alive, that's what matters." He nodded letting go, "wish I seen more of ya, we gotta plan out our maps better." I held mine up, "you see anything in these spots?" He shook his head and I bit my lip, "I think it's time."

Daryl sat down leaning against a tree and I did the same. "It's been this long and there's been nothing. I don't believe he's alive Daryl, I've just been searching for proof. It kills me thinking about him, and how much I want to tell him everything that's happened since, with those children, with that boy. I wanted him there." Daryl nodded, "I'm sorry... I wanted to be there for you. I just don't know what to say. Rick would've, he would've found a way for you to feel safe again." I shook my head, "I haven't felt safe since Dad died, since Carl died." Daryl shook his head, "I know. You're safe here. I'd do anything for you, you know that." I bit my lip, "I know, it's was just different with them." He put a hand on my shoulder, "it is time for you to stop looking. You have a little sister, and now a little brother that need you."

I let out a small laugh, "they don't need me. No one does, everyone in Alexandria avoids me like the fucking plague. Maggie left Hilltop, Alden and Enid are in Hilltop and dating so they have each other. I just feel so fucking alone." Daryl pulled me into his side, "they avoid you because they know how strong you are. It scares them." I scoffed, "it doesn't help how lonely I feel, you must understand, you stay out here alone all the time." He nodded, "I get it." I gave him a small smile, "the world's moving on, and I'm stuck here looking for proof that my dead Dad is actually dead." Daryl nudged me, "I'm looking too." I pulled myself up, "good luck." He gave me a small smile, "you're doing good kid. They'd be proud."

Once I got back to Alexandria I found Michonne on the couch cradling a crying baby. This was my brother RJ, Rick Junior. "You're back earlier than usual." I sat down beside them, "I don't think I'm going out anymore." She nodded, "I'm sorry Leah." We sat together quietly for a moment before she spoke again, "Judith will be happy." I held out my arms for the baby, "I've got him. You can go do what you need to do." She smiled handing me RJ, "Judith's upstairs, thank you I appreciate that. I owe you Leah." I looked down at his little face, "no you don't. I owe them."

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