Cardfight!! Vanguard: Heiwa - Volume II

#9: Distant Future

Early morning, at the start of November.

It was a sunny saturday.

Izuru was on the kitchen, rapidly chopping some carrots for the meal he was preparing for lunch.

'My name is Sawada Izuru, and there is a girl I like.'

(Media - Suteki Meppou)

'And her name...'

Izuru looked at the living room, where Ibuki was fuming at some first person shooter game she was playing online. She was on the verge on proving Newton's theory using the television as the apple and the snotty elementary school kid that kept killing her at the start of the game as the Newton.

'Is Ibuki Nino.'

Izuru looked ahead.

'That's right. I like my roommate. And that's also right, it's as awkward as they say it is. I don't know how it happened, but it did. Right on the day I peaked, broke a wedding, beat some guy up in a card game and almost got laid with my ex-wife. The Endo experience was going smoothly until then.'

He slid the carrot pieces into a pot and with water and splased a handful of MSG into it, grabbed from the big MSG jar he kept on his space rack.

'I've been feeling like this for about two weeks now, and I can confirm it wasn't just the effect of being touched by a woman. I've tried everything. I'd read the sacred texts, both the ones with images and the contents of the links Tate keeps sending to the group chat we have with Ban, Keiki and Doujima. My luck rank has been through the roof, and I've been getting the hottest female characters across all the gacha games I play, but even then, they just aren't Ibuki.'

Izuru slammed down some cellery on the cutting board and started chopping it at high speeds.

'For two whole weeks, it's been Ibuki this and Ibuki that. I can't think about anything else. It got so bad that, when I was thinking about her on the way home from school, I accidently let go of my sigma male jacket. It got ran over by a truck. The punch Yasuke hit me with for ruining his masterpiece still hurts, and the money I had to pay to fund his crippling V-Tuber addiction means I won't get to update my deck until the government starts paying me my retirement fund. How can one man waste so much money in one month? I was supposed to waste that money on Ibuki... There we go again, my mind loopholed Yasuke being a degenerate into Ibuki. There's no escaping this.'

He threw the cellery into the pot with another splash of MSG and started slicing and dicing some bacon.

'I've ruined three rice cookers at Risei's already. Looking at rice is the worst. It's white, like her hair. I've tried a variation of sauces to make it stop being white, but then the new flavours make me think about how much flavour she introduced into my life.'

Izuru stopped, sighed, and got back into the slice and dice.

'I have a serious problem. On the other hand, I know how Takanori feels about his mom. Mom... Ibuki's kinda like a sugar mommy, in hindsight. She bought me my deck, fully blinged out and everything, and even paid for our kotatsu, not to mention how she pays for the fried chicken we get after throwing the trash out. Honestly, this is the worst... She's cute, smart, good at card games, she knows how to ride a bike, she looks great with a leather jacket, she has white hair, she has big breasts, plumpy thighs, a killer ass, she's smart, she's lazy, and to top it all off-'

In his crazed self monologuing, he got close to chopping off his own fingers, but Ibuki managed to grab his hand just in time.

With a rusty neck turn, Izuru look at Ibuki.