Cardfight!! Vanguard: Heiwa - Volume II

#10: Oath Under Snow

Ah, December...

The month of snow, the month of being too cold for its own good, the month of Christmas. And the month where the volume's gonna end because this is a perfect ending point. Started with a blonde monkey, now we're here.

I hope the blonde monkey makes a cameo again.

December started with a storm of shivering cold, and an angry guy from Asakusa with a magenta scarf complained about it almost everyday off screen, because five parts isn't enough for a full thirty one days worth of complaining about global warming.

Now, it was the 20th of the month. Heiwa had closed off for winter break, Endo was protected from the NTR tag with legs, and Izuru and Ibuki could spend their whole day with each other. Too bad they're only outranked by Ban and Yumi in the tsundere department.

It was also the worldwide launching day of the Vanguardriver, with the return of the FiCas, so now everyone could fight with a mini GIRS system shoved into their belts and pretend like they're from that one toku show most americans are too convoluted to understand.

During the afternoon, Ryuuga rolled up to Izuru's house with his smonkey hot red Toronado, and took him for a ride that ended up with the two visiting a certain family diner, and meeting a certain duo of individuals.

Oh who am I kididng, it was Taira and Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki was on personal Vanguardriver delivery duty and Taira came to get his, the stars just happened to allign.

The four sat by a booth at the corner of the diner, from where they could her Fubuki and Raijin arguing about the carrot price inflation.

Ryuzaki set down a big metal briefcase and opened it after entering three different codes that he totally didn't need to write down on his phone to remember. There was a bunch of different drivers, FiCas and other devices, some of which were a red steering wheel, like the ones used in boats, and one that could fit in one of the two large, tofu-shaped flash drives that were next to it. I wonder what momcon would be getting those for Christmas.

"Let's see, let's see... The Protag Slayeriser? That's for you." Ryuzaki hummed, handing Taira the red wheel driver, alongside Taira's old FiCa from the summer of 48 days. "Next we have... The Momcon Driver? No, that's for a different light novel protagonist who plays the clan with the big black dragons."

"I think I wanna go back home before he starts trying to bribe me into being his student. I'm not that desperate for money." Izuru sweatdropped.

"Relax, little bro. Ryuzaki may be as stupid as a door, but he means well." Ryuuga chuckled while taking a big bite from the shrimp tempura he ordered.

"I'm pressing all buttons to doubt. But I'll say, he's alot nicer than Kaido, even though he's a massive ding dong, reeee!" Taira replied.

"Shut up or I'll sue you." Ryuzaki glared.

"See? He had to be roasted to say he'll sue us, reee!"

"I lose enough brain cells at home, I don't need to lose more by hanging out with you monkeys..." Izuru sighed, dragging his hand down his face. "Just ship the thing to my house, you know where I live, you're my landlord!"

"Yes, that means I can also kick your ass out for not having patience. Shitty landlord Ryuzaki, let's goooo!" Ryuzaki cheered as he took out another Vanguardriver.

This Vanguardriver was fairly regular, but had an additional piece attached to its left side, one that resembled the handle of a katana, painted red and black- You're not giving the angry little man a sword, are you?!

"That looks cool!" Izuru exclaimed.

"One of my speciest creations, the Demons Revengeriser!"

"I immediately take it back, I'm not going around with something with a lame as name as that strapped to my waist! I never had a chuuni phase, I don't need people to think I'm starting one now!"

"What are you talking about? You used to go around the house pretending you were Iku's girlfriend when you were fight." Ryuuga mentioned.

"THAT WANS'T BEING A CHUUNI, THAT WAS BEING A PRETTY GIRL'S FANBOY- WAIT SHE'S IKU'S GIRLFRIEND?! HOLY SHIT, HOW?!"

"I made a virtual reality Vanguard system fit inside a belt buckle and I still can't figure that out." Ryuzaki admitted with a sigh. "But here, this one is yours! Knowing you got some of Nobunobu's blood running on your veins- Despite how hard it is to believe considering how much of a puss Ryuuga turned out to be when I made him my student- I thought it'd be fitting to have your Vanguardriver have something related to a sword in it!"

"Oi!" Ryuuga called out.

"Ahah, you were worse than Deku." Taira cackled.

"I think the name's lame but... To hell with it, I like things that remind me of swords!" Izuru exclaimed, grabbing the driver. "But that name is still too long and my opponent swill die from laughing at its name before I get to stomp their asses like I'm stamping a piece of paper. I'm gonna call it Revengeriser, like the Revengers in my deck."

"Oh yeah, I also go this for you! Your very own special FiCa!" Ryuzaki said, hanging Izuru a red FiCa with black lines.

"Maybe I judged you too soon. You do seem to be a man of taste. First the woman with the big boobs, and now this beautiful colour palette." Izuru said.

"And you know what? They're real." Ryuzaki winked.

Across town, Kaido got the sudden hurge to sue someone.

"Sweet, my account's in here already. Now I don't have to bother thinking up of a new password. They make you use numbers now." Izuru cringed.

"I know, right? That's bullshit." The white haired adult sighed.

"Raging Form, Mordred, Masq, other Masq, my ride deck, triggers- Hey, what's this crap on the screen? The hell's a Domain?"

"That's a surprise tool that will help us later." Ryuzaki said, pushing his glasses up. "And by later... I MEAN RIGHT NOW! WE MUST CHANGE SEEEN AND GO SHILL THE NEW MECHANIC BEFORE THE CREATE SPLIT SHILLS RAIN DOWN ON US AND SAY WE RIPPED OFF THEIR GAME'S CORE MECHANIC! SUCK ON THAT, IT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR HAVING A BREAD JUNKY CHUUNI AS PROTAG!" He exclaimed, jumping off his seat to point at the door. 

"...call the paramedics, I think he's having a stroke." Taira whispered.

"This happens sometimes, but I think this one's a stroke for real..." Ryuuga nodded.

"If he bites the dust, can I console the newly widowed?" Izuru asked.

"HOLD YOU COCK, ASAKUSAN, NOBODY'S GONNA CONSOLE PAYIC AFTER I DIE BESIDES A ROBOT WITH AN A.I. MADE AFTER MY GREAT MIND!"

"SHUT UP REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Fubuki yelled from the kitchen. "GO DO DUMB CRAP OUTSIDE MY DINER, YOU GODDAMN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES, THE CARROT PRICES ARE ENOUGH OF A PAIN IN THE ASS!"

I say the whisk guy's dad caused the carrot inflation through stealing carrot farm signs.

"Oh yeah, what are those tofu usb drives for?" Izuru asked.

"Oh, these tofu shaped drives? These contain the data to make Nemain look like a certain woman called Takanori Rukia. Well, one does. The other includes other characters that remind my last student of his mom, aswell as that one Spikes heal we don't talk about, because the fucker got away with too many word jokes." Ryuzaki explained.

"I thought only Kaido fell into those since he played alot of Sea of Thieves."

"Sea of Thieves?"

"See if these nuts fit your mouth." Izuru winked.

"...you're lucky your deck doesn't run Nemain."