𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺; renjun x dream

𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚

i am so sorry to those of you who've been waiting an eternity for this. by now you'll probably need to reread which is a huge hassle and i'm not a patient reader myself at times so again, i'm sorry if you're trying to remember things.
also thanks so much for coming back (?), waiting, or even making it this far in the first place. i always return to writing when i think about the readers~

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'Chill Out' was the name of the somewhat rustic café Renjun and YangYang chose to huddle inside. Renjun was anything but chilled out. His chest was as tight as a finger trap and his mind was a blur of panic, self-loathing and memories of the boys he was trying to grasp onto. No sooner than when he ran out of that complex did he fish his phone out of his pocket and ring his new boyfriend, way too stressed to go to college and on the verge of another of his panic attacks. They had stopped hitting him so regularly when he'd been with the boys, but now...they were back.

YangYang suspected it wasn't a good time for education, so he merely suggested meeting up and thus they found themselves here; perched over black coffees that smelt eerily of heart attacks waiting to happen. "So let me get this straight," he hummed as calmly as possible while the smaller kept rearranging his shaking fingers, "they're not even really talking to you anymore?"

"Th-they are," the elder gushed frantically, "but barely. And they're so mean..."

"I mean..." he scratched his nape and weighed up how insensitive his next comment was going to sound, "They we're pretty rude at the beginning, Jun. It sounds to me like they have true colours and you were finessed."

"You don't understand, Yang. I know they're upset that I dropped this bomb on them, but I never wanted to part company entirely. I want their friendship; for them to be in my life."

"And they want something more physical," the younger murmurs dubiously before taking a hesitant sip of the death drink and coughing with instant regret. Why did they choose these at ten in the morning?

"I don't know..." Well, Renjun didn't want to think that was what the problem was. Had he recapped the entire story and told it to someone impartial, then yeah...it kind of did sound like they were coercing him into something extremely sketchy and sexual. But there was love, and he wasn't imagining it. Every time he recalled a moment, he'd remember the feelings attached and the warmth it brought. There was no way they were devastated purely because Renjun didn't want to fuck. He knew they were probably soulmates and he was just here...throwing it all away. He was selfish for never putting them first.

"Jun," YangYang hummed softly before attempting to extend his hand out and retreating halfway when he wasn't sure what it was he needed or wanted to provide. It wasn't as though he could defend those men or, equally, tell Renjun than he wasn't wrong. The fact of the matter was still that he had no idea what was going on. He never seemed to. "Um, listen..."