Pointe

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TW: Mention of Eating Disorder

Books POV

Today, Mattea and Spindle were starting pointe. Mattea got her shoes fitted last week, and she was really excited to go!

"I can't believe I'm actually going on pointe today!"

"I know, I feel like it was just yesterday when you went to your first competition, but look at you now!"

"Apparently Star says the first pointe class can be very hard, but it's so worth it in the end!"

"I would think that, I don't think I would ever be able to dance pointe if I tried."

"I'm excited that at least Spindle is doing it with me, at least I know she won't judge me if I'm terrible."

"Honey, your not terrible. You and Spindle are such natural ballerinas, and I can tell you two are very into it!"

"I'm sad that Oaks is not really into Ballet as much though."

"I know, but I can't yell at her. You and I both know that she is such an acro dancer!"

"Yeah, and hey, at least we're getting a duet this season!"

"There ya go!" We both got into the dance building. She went to go get ready in the dressing room while I made my way to the viewing area. I noticed that Needle was already there.

"Hey Book!"

"Hey!"

"Hows it been!"

"Good. Mattea is really excited to start the class, she's been waiting for this day since she started ballet."

"Spindles happy she just gets to do pointe. It's been making her excited not only because it's a huge step to becoming a full on ballerina, it also has been making her feel more feminine, which makes me happy!"

"That's amazing, so happy to hear that she's been doing well."

"Oh, look, here they come!" All the girls came out wearing their pointe shoes. "Ahh, I love watching them all."

"Yeah, all so tall, and pretty." Needles emotion started to change a little. I didn't really question it that much though.

All the girls warmed up in the room, and then they headed to the barre. They did some exercises, and that got me way more excited than I should have. "Look at them go, ah, I still can't believe this is happening!"

"Same here." I noticed Needle slowly started to act a bit more off.

"You okay Needle, it seems like somthings bothering you."

"Oh no no, it's just, uh, I have to get Moe some new food is all, and I don't know when I'm gonna have time to do it." I didn't believe that was the real reason she was acting this way, but I went with it.

"You know, there's a pharmacy that just opened up near here, they probably have some cat food later, you can buy some after they're done!"

"Oh, uh, okay, I didn't know. Thanks for telling me!"

The girls continued doing exercises, until they started to actually do a few moves. They all looked so happy, especially Spindle!"

"Spindle looks like she's having the time of her life down there!"

"Sure is." Now she was acting really off. I know how much she likes it when Spindle dances, so to see her like this was concerning.

"Needle, somthings up."

"What do you mean."

"Don't try to hide it, it's clear that somthings bothering you. You can tell me if you need too."

Needle went silent for a full three minutes. Finally, she spoke.

"I used to dance pointe when I was a kid."

I was shocked. I never knew that Needle was a ballet dancer, let alone a dancer at all.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I started pointe when I was around Spindle's age. I was always a great ballet dancer, and I did really well in pointe!"

"But after a few classes...everything went downhill. The more I trained, the more I felt so much pressure to look a certain way. I always looked at myself in the mirror and just saw this fat girl looking back at me. Slowly, I started to hate myself, and thats when I made some...very, very unhealthy choices. I started to diet in really unhealthy amounts. However, when I did that, I felt better about my image, and so I continued to do it. I lost around 20 pounds over the next 6 months or so. By the time I hit 7th grade, I was only having breakfast. I wouldnt eat lunch at all, and when I had to eat with my family, I...made myself throw up everything I ate."

"Oh my gosh...I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. How long did that go on for."

"Until around 8th grade. I had my first doctor's appointment after I started losing weight, and by then, I had lost around 30 pounds, and was very underweight. Eventually, I had to tell my mom everything. I went to a specialist when I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, Anorexia nervosa. I stopped going to ballet, and I never danced again."

I was speechless. I had no idea what to say, its so terrible that she went through all of that just for dance.

"So, I assume the reason why you were acting all weird is because you don't want Spindle going down the same path." She nodded, and she was in tears. I gave her a hug.

"Hey, its okay, wow, that must have been so hard to get off your chest."

"Yeah, I have never really told anyone that story before. Not even Pin."

"Not even Pin!"

"Yeah. When Spindle first wanted to try dance, I wasnt that concerned. I always thought she was gonna be an acro dancer, and even if she did do ballet, remember, this was before she transitioned, so I didn't think about the idea of pointe at all. But when she wanted to start, I was very hesitant to let her, but I did anyway, since I didn't want to crush her dreams. The problem is, how do I make sure this never happens to her?"

"I see where you're coming from, Needle. But, my other daughter took pointe a year and a half ago, and it all turned out fine for her. Things have changed since when you were a dancer, and I know that her teacher will always make sure the girls aren't too concerned about their weight. And if you feel like she is, make sure to always be there for her!"

"That...made me feel a lot better, thank you Book!"

The girls  finished up their class, and they seemed very excited, which made Needle and I happy. It was nice to see Needle feel a lot better about Spindle taking pointe, and I hope that the girls feel good about themselves, and not let ballet take control of their bodies.

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Major shoutout to the person who posted a picture of Needle in a tutu on their instagram story. I really liked how this chapter came out. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you next chapter!

- Sunny

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