Opia / D.M 18+

C L I N O M A N I A

{An excessive desire to stay in bed}

✧✦✧ 

~Amethyst~

The weekend went by as quickly as it came. I spent my time with the ceiling, staring at it in silence. I noticed the small cracks in the stone, the change of colour in some parts. I had memorised everything about the stone above my head. I could feel the dark magic spread through my being as I lay there. I could feel it trickle its way through my body, taking over parts of my mind—and I let it. 

I let it do what it wanted because I had no energy to fight it off. It took so much to ward off the magic that was so easy to give into. I welcomed it. I knew Luis was right, if he found out I was rejecting the mark—he wouldn't just kill me, he'd harm anyone I loved and cared about. I couldn't let anyone else get hurt, I could barely watch Draco crumble to his knees in the rain. 

I couldn't sleep as the rain continued to pour relentlessly. December was approaching, and I dreaded the idea of snow. I wanted to stay far away from the outside world. Sleep seemed so distant as the sound of the rain only reminded me of everything I once had. I had everything I wanted and needed, and now it was gone. I had fallen further than ever before, I knew I had. And yet—I had no desire to change my decision.

It was all for him after all.

Luis sat by my side for most of the weekend, telling me all the endless reasons as to why I should get up. Saturday night didn't happen due to the night before and how I had created a slight panic within the group. Guilt had bubbled within me over the two days, thinking of everything that had happened. I thought of the fight we had walked into, how he stopped as I called out his name. How his eyes stared into mine, he said he didn't break his promise. I told him not to get into fights that didn't matter, and he never once broke the promise. 

It hurt to think about, my chest was tight and ached at the thought of him. I was desperate to be cut loose, to have the ribbon released from my ribs. It was crushing me, enabling me to do anything other than stay in my bed, with my ceiling which could never hurt me as I had hurt myself.

My eyes stayed stuck to the ceiling as there was a dip in my mattress and Jasmine's perfume found its way into my senses. They all knew not to touch me, I didn't want their touch, not if it wasn't his. They all knew it was him, the so-called 'bad kisser'. They knew it was me in the changing room after the quidditch match. Luis had told them everything, and Blaise seriously couldn't get his head around it at first. But when he saw what kind of state I was in, he knew it was true.

"Ames?" She asked in just above a whisper, "Are you going to come to classes today?" 

That had been the question throughout the entire weekend. And I didn't know. If I went, I would be a shell. A blank mind inside a stiff body. I knew I wasn't myself anymore, I knew that the dark magic had found its way around the light that was once there. It was like smoke in a room, clouding everything it could touch, it travelled relentlessly, not caring about what light it was touching. 

"How long have I got?" I asked through a croaky voice that I didn't recognise.

She turned to look at Blaire's alarm clock, "Breakfast ends in about half an hour—you should eat something, you know Luis will be really happy to see you there." She spoke softly and delicately. 

I let out a sigh, I knew it would mean the world to Luis if he saw me at breakfast, he had been so good, so kind over the past week. He tried so hard to keep me from harming myself, he tried to get me to eat and he tried so hard to keep the darkness away. I didn't go to breakfast over the weekend because I was afraid he'd be able to see how the magic had almost completely taken over. I knew he fought just as hard as I did—to keep me from falling into the trap that was laid out.