Opia / D.M 18+

N Ī P A N

{To grow dark; to become darker as the light fades away}

✧✦✧

Every day.

I couldn't escape it. 

So I just let it happen. 

Because I knew that if I tried to fight—no good would come. I knew that if I tried to stand up for myself, Pucey wouldn't have an ounce of it. He was everywhere I went. He wouldn't let me out of his sight unless I was with Blaise. And even then—he was always in the next room. 

Pucey was dedicated to making sure the Dark Lord got what he wanted from us. He played it like a game—wanting to be the first arranged couple to bear a child. And I couldn't do anything to stop him. I was weak, I was empty. I hardly ate, I was bruised and broken—literally and figuratively. I had learnt not to speak back to him, he was filled with rage. He told me I deserved it, that I deserved to feel how he did. All because I didn't want to have sex with him.

I barely slept, out of fear he would try something. Out of fear that I would dream about my world. My Sun and my Moon—my protectors. As Pucey enjoyed his sleep, I slipped out of the bed I was forced to share. The world seemed to be moving at a pace I couldn't keep up with. The days ended just as quickly as they came. And I was in a constant state of utter numbness. I couldn't figure out why I was so numb. Everything I had was lost. Luis and Charlie were gone, Blaire was at Hogwarts, and Jaz was Merlin knows where. 

I stared at myself in the mirror, something I thought I wouldn't do. My honey brown hair seemed to be losing its vibrance. My cheeks were hollowed out and my eyes had never looked so dark. What once were bright emeralds, looked now to be blades of grass run down by the mud. I barely recognised myself.

With both hands on the vanity, I searched for something. I looked at the countertop, searching for anything. Pucey had taken my wand. He told me he couldn't trust me. He knew I would try to get back at him, he knew I would try anything. So he took my wand from me and placed it where I couldn't find it. So I looked for anything. 

But there was nothing. 

No scissors, no sharp object—nothing. My only option would be to break the mirror, but I knew that would only wake him. I just wanted to feel something other than the dismay I was stuck with. So as tears began to sting my eyes, I walked out of the room and wandered through the empty halls. I found myself in the kitchen, staring at the drawer filled with sharp objects. If I did it quickly, it wouldn't hurt. I could be with them. 

I could be happy and my world would be complete again. I couldn't bear to see the look on Cissy's face whenever I passed her. She was barely around the Manor, only Blaise remained. I stared at a large knife, bright and shiny, begging to be used. As I reached for it, I wasn't thinking of anyone but my Sun and my Moon. How I would smile and cry when I hugged them. I remembered talking to Draco in the astronomy tower. And I wondered if he regretted his decision. Maybe just moments before he left the world, maybe he wished he could take it all back. 

But I knew I wouldn't. Because a world without the Sun or a Moon, was a world I didn't want to live in. Though as I gripped the handle of the blade, it burnt my skin so harshly I hissed through my teeth. The metal crashed loudly as I dropped it back in the draw. I could only imagine Pucey had placed charms over every single thing that I could use. He knew I would try something. 

Tears flooded down my cheeks like water from the sky. Was it too much to ask? My entire life, I always put others before me. Was it too much to want to be with them? A week with Pucey was a week in Hell. I didn't want to begin to imagine what a life would look like. My hands trembled while I fought to breathe. The bruises on my skin shone in the dim light of the early morning. Hand and finger marks made themselves known around my wrists and arms. I didn't want to look at the marks that would be left on my neck.