KISS ME, CAPTAIN

Chapter 57

Roks Musket

I'M SO CONFUSE when I woke up. What the f-ck is happening? I'm totally naked. And I dream about having a sex with a stranger last night.

Is that even a dream? It feels so real? I don't know but until now I'm feeling her skin on me? The scent is still here. The addicting smell that makes me wants to kneel on her last night.

Don't tell me nangyari nga?

I don't usually experience wet dream. But I know the feeling of having a wet dream. And iba 'yun sa nararamdaman ko ngayon. That's different!

I can't explain the feeling. But this is so familiar. Same feeing when I make love with Cenery 5 years ago.

Oh jesus. What did you do, Roks?!

I tried to remember what happened last night. But the hangover is started to hit me. I feel like my brain is just a bobbing sphere in muck water. Dang, I want to throw up so hard.

Alcohol you f-cking moron. You're not giving me happiness anymore you make me feel dizzy and nauseous. And yet I keep trusting you.

I have high alcohol tolerance and I'm aware that I'm being addicted in drinking but the hangover hits me so bad these days it takes me about 3 days to completely recover.

I closed my eyes and massages my temple while remembering what happened and I don't know why the image of the woman is very familiar.

She looks like Cenery.

Did I f-ck a stranger because I though she's my girlfriend?

The evil side of the alcohol is eating me last night? Kaya ba naimagine ko na si Cenery 'yun while f-cking her? That's harsh.

Hindi ko minamaliit ang taglay na nakademonyohan ng alak. Iba ang tama nito sa buong pagkatao mo lalo na kapag sobra and I remember drinking a lot last night.

I looked at to the stain of our juices in the bed to comfirm if I really f-ck someone last night. There's a stain and also a blood too.

I f-cked her so hard. Hindi ko na na control ang sarili ko. I tried to be gentle but she insisting to make it faster. Ang tagal namin ginagawa 'yun because until now ramdam ko ang bigat ng  katawan ko. Para akong sumabak sa training.

Darn! What I'm saying?!

I clenched my jaw. This is not mistake Roks! This is a choice! You cheated on your girlfriend because you're a horny jerk.

Gusto ko suntukin ang sarili ko. Deserve ko nang isang malalang bugbog. Hindi ko rin inaakala na magagawa kong magloko nang ganito. Nag pahulog ako sa patibong ng tukso.

This is not me.

I love my girlfriend so much. Napakarami na naming pinagdaanan at ngayon pa ba ako magloloko? Look what did I do? Paano ko siya haharapin ngayon kung alam ko sa sarili kong ginago ko na siya.

I don't deserve her.

I deserve to be punished .

Jeez! I don't know what to do?

Ano ba ang una kong dapat gawin? Humingi nang tawad kay Cenery? O hanapin ang babae at panagutan?  I'm really f-cked up. Hinding-hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko sa ginawa kong kagaguhan.

I don't remember using any contraceptive last night. Wala akong baon na condom and there's a big chance that I'll make her pregnant even though it's a one night stand unless she's taking a pill but I doubt it.