𝑹𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒂 • yeonbin {BOOK 2} ✓

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°•𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 • mention of abusive relationship•°

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𝑻𝒉𝒆 angel tried to suck in a breath through his nose, finding it hard when the sobs got in the way and he was almost gasping for air. he was always scared of this exact moment, where he would be torn, the moment where love would come for him and show it's true facade; pain. soobin truly believed though, he believed with all his heart the said moment wouldn't come, he believed blindly that yeonjun wouldn't bring him to ashes.

he was wrong.

it was way too much, though. the black haired did so much, used so much strength and had so much courage to say only three words. it wasn't three empty words, meaningless and said without a thought, they carried his whole heart, his whole pain and fears. soobin gave yeonjun his all when letting the words out, he was finally ready to love the male, ready to let himself be loved again, ready to try again. it didn't seem to be worth it, though.

soobin thought that maybe it was better to had never said them at all, would he lose the king if he had kept his mouth shut? maybe not. he couldn't lie though, he knew he wouldn't be able to seal his lips and never say he loved yeonjun. the fact that even now, sat on the floor of the older's room while crying his eyes out, he still couldn't bring himself to hate him, to regret everything, said a lot.

kai was right when saying love was beautiful, the angel felt it, he would never forget the demon's warm eyes and gentle touches, the way he tucked his hair behind his ear and pecked his lips softly, and maybe that was the worst part. soobin was ready to forgive the male, he was ready to beg for him to go back to him, ready to live the nightmare and keep the pretty moments only in his mind. love was beautiful, yes, for a moment, a second, the best one he ever had, the most euphoric moment and lie he ever felt, but it was that, a lie.

love was nothing more than a trick that would show you the paradise, only to take it away after.

soobin would never forget the second of paradise he had, though. it was okay, he knew it was, he would hold onto it as best as he could, would dream of it as many times as he could, but he knew he wouldn't have it again. yeonjun didn't want them together, after all, he didn't think love was enough. but wasn't it? the angel didn't know. thought he knew, he wanted to live a lie again, he wanted to be tricked again, wanted to get fooled for one more moment.

victor seemed easy to get over compared to yeonjun. how could he even get over yeonjun? it was simple enough, he couldn't. soobin knew by heart he would never be able to, he knew it was impossible to get over something you never had. maybe that was the problem, he never truly had yeonjun.

the red haired was charming, kind and sweet, he pecked his lips, held him gently and said pretty words, but soobin knew the male was so much more. it was obvious enough, when yeonjun hid emotions behind cold expressions, hid bothers behind lies and words behind calculating moves. the angel never knew him entirely, he was never able to because yeonjun simply didn't want to let him see, instead just feeding him with half truths and smart words to let him believe he was in fact in.

maybe not even the soul soobin cherished so much through the male's scarlet eyes was true. did he even know yeonjun at all? his heart, mind and soul? probably not, and he couldn't have what he didn't even know. it was the same of claiming someone, or something, you never saw, touched or heard. an empty claim, a fake ownership.

he never had yeonjun.

so it wasn't even his right to lose him.

soobin hated the realization, he hated the fact he would never be able to see the demon truly, to love every part of him. maybe yeonjun was indeed right, after all. maybe love wasn't enough. but if not that then what would be? what soobin had to have or give for it to be enough? what he had to do or say to make the male stay? maybe nothing at all, maybe nothing he did or have would ever be enough simply because of who he was.