𝑹𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒂 • yeonbin {BOOK 2} ✓

°•❁𝒔𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆❁•°

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°•𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 • blood, mental instability and struggle•°

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𝒀𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒋𝒖𝒏 closed the door of his training room, eyes barely focusing as he remembered every single word soobin had told him, every drop of disgust filling the words spoken and the hate shining on his dark chocolate irises. he knew it was his fault, he couldn't even blame soobin for doing that, but still, the things he said had crawled way too deep.

way too deep in a mind who just needed one more whisper to fall into pieces and turn dark.

the red haired let out a small sob, looking at his own hands as he could barely distinguish them since his vision was blurried by tears. he felt his stomach churn and heart speed up, realizing he started to tremble while locked inside the room where he usually killed himself slowly through incessant training. yeonjun could hear, almost in whispers, as soobin called him a monster, the monster he was called of all his life, the monster he fought to believe he wasn't, the monster he dreaded to be.

"i-i'm not a monster. i didn't want this, i-i-" he whispered slowly, tone filled with fear and pain, but before he could even finish he felt himself get numb, starting to laugh lowly. if soobin thought he was a monster, than what was the difference? why should he try to not be one when the only person that mattered already saw him so lowly? "no. i am a monster, he's right. i'm putrid and cursed, meant to be left, meant to be alone. power is the only thing that makes me complete."

the demon laughed louder, even if his eyes were still shedding tears, even if his irises were still displaying a broken soul, even if his hands still trembled in fear. he choked on air, groaning before falling on the floor, and gasped for air, holding his throat as if it would help somehow, as if it would stop making him feel suffocated and dead. the thing was, it wouldn't, it wasn't lack of air the reason behind his suffocation, it was himself, his own mind, his own fear, own putrid self.

"s-soobin. i need soobin, i want my darling." he called softly, for his salvation, for his happiness and heart, for his home and safe place, but he knew he wouldn't receive any reply. soobin wasn't there, soobin had told he didn't want to love him anymore, soobin hurt him purposefully. soobin was making everything worse. "no, no, no. i don't need soobin, he's holding me back, he's ruining things for me."

yeonjun chuckled again, hugging his own body while trembling. his mind felt unbearable, like if he was hearing a million whispered lies at the same time telling him to die, not physically, but inside, to bury his heart, to forget soobin, to even hate soobin. it was torturous to feel, as if a parasite crawled under his skin and he could only watch while helplessly trying to get rid of it. though, he knew he couldn't, it was hard to get rid of something that was always there, something who was part of him.

"p-please help me, i just want help-" he held his head when feeling a sharp pain, screaming loudly and crying like a kid. yeonjun's nose started to bleed and he felt like passing out, taste of blood reaching his lips just as much as the saltiness of his desperate tears. he could see the area around him turn black, getting filled by dark fog as he screamed in pain again and again, calling for a help he could never get.

"leave me alone! i don't want this, i want him!" the male sobbed out, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to take control over himself, but in the end, he was faced with failure. there was no one who needed to leave him alone, no one who was forcing him into something, just himself, sobbing and screaming in an empty room.