𝑹𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒂 • yeonbin {BOOK 2} ✓

°•❁𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆❁•°

°•°•❁•°•°

𝒀𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒋𝒖𝒏 had spent the last months working on himself, on his mind and how he wanted to keep it at peace. the hardest work was already done when he died, he had already managed to control his powers instead of getting swallowed by it, so now he needed to heal, from his last days alive to the punishment he got when dead. it wasn't something easily done, however.

the male spent the first months trying to cope with being in his own skin, to get used by not feeling the parasite like sensation he had when getting consumed by darkness, to be able accept the peace and quiet of his own mind without thinking it was fake. beomgyu played a huge part on that, the gargoyle stayed beside the king as much as he could, reassuring him he could do it and that he would be fine. yeonjun doubted the long haired knew how much that reassurance meant to him, how much it helped.

it was a slow process, really slow, but the red haired truthfully thought to be doing okay in it. he managed to sleep a few hours per night instead of not being able to stay a single minute unconscious without being tormented by nightmares, he could look in the mirror and find familiarity in it, even if not himself fully, and had a way clear mind after not being take by insanity over and over again. yeonjun could breathe now, slowly, maybe painfully, but he could breathe, and that was more than he thought he could ever get after everything.

he knew he needed to work harder, however, he was way too damaged and if he wanted to be able to deserve soobin and give happiness to him, than he needed to do more than his best and give more than his all. it meant he, above all, needed to heal his heart and face things he didn't want to. it meant he needed to keep his promise to taemin, and let himself bloom again.

yeonjun was already standing there for long minutes, eyes glued to the doorknob as he tried to summon all his courage. it would hurt, he knew it would, probably more than he even thought, but he needed to do it, not for beomgyu, soobin or his people, but for himself. he needed to come into terms with his most dear memory and painted loss; his mother.

the red haired let out a shaky breath, eyes already watery even before he made a move. he wished for soobin to be there with him, to reassure and support him, but deep down he knew it was something he had to do alone. it wasn't related to the angel in any way, nor about anyone else, just him and the dead queen of hell. little tulip and his world.

finally, he opened the mirrored glass door, closing his eyes for a second before stepping inside. the greenhouse looked the same, except for the fact all the life that was previously there had died and rotted between the dirt. it was hard to see, what he did, how he ruined his mother's safe place and own important memory, all out of hurt, pride, obsession. yeonjun hated himself while staring into the place that before carried more life than anything, that before was colorful and dreaming, was like soft a breeze of fresh air under the moonlight. it looked just as empty, dead and sick as him now.

the male immediately crouched down and put a hand on his own mouth, tears welling on his eyes and falling down his cheeks. that place was always his everything, it was his mother's everything, the only thing he had after she died, the only concrete memory he knew would be there even if she wasn't, and he ruined it. yeonjun ruined it like everything else he touched, he killed the beauty of all the memories he had, killed his mother's precious flowers, the pieces of life she cherished so much that managed to bring shine to her empty eyes. it felt like killing his mother.

"i-i'm sorry, mom. i'm s-so sorry." the demon cried alone in the empty room, his whispered words echoing through the glass walls and tears glistening under the everlasting moonlight the greenhouse had. he never wanted things to get to that point, he just wanted to be happy. the only thing yeonjun always wanted was to be happy. "i r-ruined everything, a-all the things i c-cherished. i a-almost killed my f-flower, mom, h-how could y-you say i was t-the most beautiful p-person you ever m-met? how could you s-say the world didn't d-deserve someone as g-good as me? h-how could you h-have me as your f-flower? i ruin e-everything, i can o-only harm, i'm only capable of d-destruction and pain. i-" he let out a sob, eyes fixed on the floor as if it would lower the shame he felt. "i-i couldn't e-even make you h-happy."