𝑹𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒂 • yeonbin {BOOK 2} ✓

°•❁𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆❁•°

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𝑺𝒐𝒐𝒃𝒊𝒏 ran his hand gently through his skin, eyes fixed on the full length mirror in front of him as he stared at his ribs. a lump was formed in his throat, but he wasn't sure if because of the fact he once had the mark of hell on his skin, or due to the current lack of it. the angel had been feeling like that the past days, divided between hate and love, between dreading to be near the king and longing to see him.

he wasn't sure when it happened, when during that day yeonjun had took the mark off, when he had gave up on the promised he made of giving his soul to the black haired. soobin was aware he was the one who asked for it, and he was actually glad he did, but it was inevitable to feel like he had lost something when looking in the mirror, a part of himself maybe. he couldn't quite explain it, just hoping the feeling would go away after some time. he didn't plan on seeing yeonjun ever again, anyways.

still, he missed him. of course he did, because he loved the demon, had been for months now, melting under crimson stares and finding happiness between warm smiles. no disappointment, fear, or even hatred, could take such things from his heart, could make him forget about his love easily. though, soobin hoped he could at least, one day, get over yeonjun. he was willing to do it, didn't matter how long it took, willing to hold the older as nothing more than a sore and beautiful memory, a dream he couldn't have.

it was new to him, the feeling of giving up on the king. he had tried so hard, believed so much and stayed so long, it was completely unfamiliar being faced with an empty spot where yeonjun once was. 'it's okay to give up on him'. taemin was right, it was really okay to, soobin understood that now, was ready to do so, because he needed to do the right thing for himself. he would never love someone like he did with the red haired, never find his other half in someone else, nor would he be as happy as he was when they felt right, but he didn't want all that. soobin didn't need another yeonjun, he needed himself, to see and love himself, to understand and give time to himself, to finally let himself heal. from his lonely childhood, from victor, and from daniel too.

he would be okay. soobin knew he would be okay. he wasn't alone like he was with when victor happened, now he had his mother, his siblings and his friends. he had himself too, a little lost, a little broken, but still there, as strong as ever.

maybe that was something he would always be thankful of yeonjun for; showing him he could be loved and teaching him the firsts steps to be the one to do so. the demon loved him in an unexplainable way, deeply and rawly, purely and beautifully, like no one else did, like no one else could, and no giving up on him could make soobin forget that. he would always be yeonjun's, just wouldn't be with him.

and maybe that was the problem, after all.

soobin took a deep breath, covering his chest with his sweater before smiling timidly to the mirror. he could do this. his mother had been spending a lot of time with him, and she always made sure to say how he was deserving of love and happiness, how he was strong and how he could heal if he gave time to himself. the woman was being a bless in his life, she was there every time he couldn't take it and started to cry, was there to comfort him, to remember him to take a day at a time, an hour at a time, and if needed, a second at a time.

he had received an immense amount of love from his siblings that week. even when none knew exactly what happened, they still invited him for tea and told him funny stories, still dragged him to secret places in the castle that carried part of their childhoods and still piled on his bed demanding a sleepover. that week had showed him what having a family was like, replacing any loneliness and turning it into teasing remarks and annoying bickers. it was slow, nothing incredibly big, no immediate unbreakable bond or love, but it was enough, the little warm feeling of belonging somewhere was enough.