𝑹𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒂 • yeonbin {BOOK 2} ✓

°•❁𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒚 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕❁•°

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𝑶𝒏𝒄𝒆, soobin was sure of almost everything. he was sure of what he wanted, of his feelings, of what to do and where to go from, now, however, he wasn't even close of certainty. of course, there was one thing he was sure of and that, was his love for yeonjun, but being sure of it didn't change much when a lot of other things were involved. it was complicated, too tricky and too deep, a mix of numerous events, feelings and doubts that made him drown himself into confusion.

the angel loved yeonjun, yes, but he needed to figure out if he wanted to try again. soobin needed to discover if he was ready this time, and not only that, but too if he thought it all to be worth it. there was so many things at stake, including himself and his own mental and emotional health, loving the demon was hard just as much as it was freeing. though, soobin knew he had to put himself first, after everything he went through before and after yeonjun he had learnt at least that, to give himself value, to think about himself too.

soobin and yeonjun were both hurt, full of scars from the past that would never go away, would remain there until their last breath, and it was difficult for the black haired to figure if all those scars shouldn't be just left there, alone instead of opened again in a maybe hope of a proper healing. trying again with yeonjun was scary because soobin feared like never before they wouldn't be able to make it work, that everything would end in the same way; with two broken hearts.

still, every day he woke up missing the king and went to sleep with him on his mind. he knew every beat of his heart called for yeonjun and every morning felt empty without him. the angel didn't have any contact with the red haired after the day they decided to give each other time, only able to feel calm when knowing from third parts the demon was doing okay. though, after all the time apart, after months of not seeing each other, soobin still loved the male just as much, and he was indeed better, taking his time to value himself and spending time with his family.

soobin had really tried his best with his family, spending as much time as he could with them and building a relationship nonexistent before. it had been so long since he felt like he belonged somewhere, but the feeling grew more each day he spent with his siblings and mother. all that time, however, was far from being enough, for both the family part and yeonjun part. he felt better, but he knew he wasn't ready, even after three whole months.

there was still a lot he needed to work with, a lot he needed to learn and a lot he needed to move on from. even if he forgave yeonjun and understood him, the male still attempted to murder him, and that was something soobin needed time to come in terms with. it was a hard thing, traumatic scene and shocking experience, one that even three months didn't seem enough for him to heal from.

he pressed his lips in a thin line with the thoughts, eyes scanning the surroundings as he felt the warm sun on his skin. heaven was always pretty,  but the royal castle managed to be even more, covered by immense blankets of flowers on the walls and roofs that cascaded until almost reaching the floor, the marble bricks peeking from under the colorful plants in a contrasting form. after all the time since he first stepped inside that palace, the garden remained his favorite part. though, he was sure the reasons why had changed.

at first, the place held his favoritism because of how pretty it was and how it reminded him of the cottage he used to live while in limbo, it was where he found familiarity and therefore, comfort when away from his home. then, the garden turned into a different version of his favorite place in heaven, where he felt like he could breathe better and have a clearer mind to think about what to do. now, however, it was a place taken by yeonjun, where soobin saw him in every flower and plant, whispering to him sweet words and comparing him with the beauty of every species of flora present there. now, it was his safe place, where he came to find his heart and get his soul touched since the demon couldn't be there to do so. it was his secret way of feeling, seeing and hearing yeonjun, through the beauty of what he loved so much; flowers.

soobin felt his eyes water by how much he missed the male, hand immediately making it's way between his collarbones and holding the crimson necklace tightly. he wore the jewelry every day, as a reminder of who was waiting for him, of their love and how it managed to stay stronger than anything else that came upon their way. he bit his lip, lowering his head only enough for his crown to not fall from it. that was something that changed too, he had his prince crown now.

jungkook had asked to be done after finding the design in his mother's office, the previous ruler of heaven had started the design carefully with the royal jeweler, just like she had done with all her children, and that was why soobin wasn't given his crown before, because rhea was taking her time to make it. the now king found it, almost complete, and made his own job to finish it since even if the queen died, the royal jeweler didn't, giving the finish piece to soobin weeks ago.

it was simple, as a prince crown instead of ruler one, but pretty. the jewelry was made of pure silver, small and delicate leaves wrapping themselves until forming the whole crown. soobin liked it, and it fitted his style and appearance, but he couldn't stop himself into thinking about the crown he saw on queen mira's grave, rested on his own coffin. yeonjun's crown for him. his prince one could be pretty, but that one was perfect, it was made for him to the point he knew there would never be a crown who matched with him as much.

soobin closed his eyes slowly, taking a deep breath before going back inside. staying away from yeonjun was hard, it felt empty and as if a part of himself was missing, maybe his heart, maybe his soul, maybe his forever. whatever it was, it hurt, and soobin considered to stop all of that and run back to the demon's arms so many times he lost count. still, every time he remembered himself he couldn't, they were apart for a reason, so they needed to stay like that.

staying like that felt like torture though.

the black haired longed for yeonjun's touch every time he spread body lotion on his skin after taking a bath, closing his eyes for a moment and letting himself pretend there would be crimson irises staring back at him when he opened them. he tossed and turned on his bed, messing the sheets as he found hard to sleep without the king's warm skin against his and comforting scent lulling him into a deep slump. soobin waited for poetry in form of simple words that left yeonjun's lips when he talked and for gentle smiles who gave him butterflies.

yeonjun was everywhere and nowhere at all, memories of him filled soobin's life and heart, his room and his thoughts, but they were only that, memories. the demon was never actually there, never whispering love words to him, never holding him tenderly, never making him feel like the most pretty and lovable person ever, never calling him by sweet names that carried yeonjun's heart in every letter. only memories, memories he cherished with his all and would never forget, memories waiting to be turned into reality.

the angel stopped before his bedroom's door, a smile spreading through his features as soon as he opened it and was faced by something who was placed on his bed every week. a tulip. it was obvious enough from who it was, yeonjun made sure to every friday somehow gift him with the flower, as if telling he was okay, he was doing his part and he was waiting. every week, and by now, soobin had a bouquet of them placed on his nightstand.

it wasn't an action meant to put pressure on soobin, to force him into making his mind of giving them another chance. he knew yeonjun would never do that, so he knew the flowers were just a reminder of a long made promise; that the demon would love him forever even if he was far away, and he didn't expect anything in return, not even love. yeonjun would love him independently of anything.

soobin picked the flower, bringing it to his nose as he let himself cry alone. it was a bittersweet moment, because even if one of the most romantic and delicate acts someone ever did to him, he knew yeonjun wasn't able to be there to give him the flower himself. he knew they would remain apart, in different kingdoms while with synchronized heartbeats. the male still smiled however, because yeonjun was such a hopeless romantic and soobin was sure there was no one else who could be like that if not the demon.

yeonjun was created as a romantization of life by nature itself. a single person who found beauty in every pain and thorn, simply because all were derived from a sort of love in his mind, even if only the smallest. the demon was probably the most poignant poem soobin even came to know, one that was hard to read, but when understood, taught him what beauty really meant.

one he knew was made for him, and for only him to comprehend. one he would read between every line and would adore every pained word.

one he loved.

always.

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