Chapter 10: Gilderoy Lockhart

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The students are seated in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, decorated with portraits of its owner: Gilderoy Lockhart; the door to the office opens and Lockhart walks out. Gilderoy Lockhart paces before the class. Hermione and
the girls hang on his every word, while Athena and Ron eye the large, covered cage rattling mysteriously on his desk.

Lockhart haters all groan, whilst said boy puffs his chest out. The teachers are shocked that the boy managed to become a professor since he was absolutely rubbish at magic.

Lockhart: Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: me, Gilderoy Lockhart. Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award -- But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her![Lockhart awaits laughter. A few students smile weakly.]

"That was thee worst joke I have ever heard" James rolled his eyes.

Athena: That was thee worst joke I have ever heard [Ron clamps his hand over Athena's mouth to stop her from talking]

All the girls glare at Athena but she just shrugged her shoulders and flipped them off, smiling sweetly.

James smiled at his daughter whilst everyone else laughed at her. Lily shook her head fondly.

Lockhart: I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in...

Lockhart begins to circulate papers. Athena and Ron examine the questions. Ron whispers to Athena and Neville.

Ron: Look at these questions. They're all about him.
Neville: 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite color?'

Everyone sent incredulous looks at Lockhart who shrank in his seat.

Athena: his favourite colour is brown [Ron and Neville turn to look at Athena] browns the colour of shit and with the amount of bullshit that comes out of his mouth how could it not be his favourite colour [they laugh]

Everyone laughs at Athena.

Ron: What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
Athena: talking the most bullshit
Neville: When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday and what would his ideal gift be?
Athena: the day he was born and his ideal gift would be to actually have intelligence [they laugh]
Gilderoy Lockhart: You have thirty minutes. Start -- now!

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

Lockhart rifles through the completed exams.

Gilderoy Lockhart: Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered my favorite color is lilac. Ms. Potter brown is a horrendous colour, hence it is not my favourite colour [people who understand why Athena put brown laughs] But Miss Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions. Good girl. [Hermione beams whilst Athena reaches over the table and puts the back of her hand on her forehead, to make sure she was feeling okay. Hermione smacks her hand away]

Everyone laughs at Athena, "what I just wanted to make sure my sister was okay?" They all laugh harder.

Gilderoy Lockhart: [his face darkening] Now... be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizard kind! You may find yourself facing your own worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here...
[With a showman's flair, Lockhart turns slowly to the cage.] I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them.

The mothers of the future gen all hold their husband/boyfriends hands, scared for their children.

A pale Neville draws back. Athena and Ron lean forward. Lockhart lets the tension build, then whips off the cover. Inside the cage are several electric blue creatures. Eight inches tall, with pointed faces and wings, they rattle the bars and pull bizarre faces at the students.

The marauders gen laugh.

Seamus: Cornish pixies?
Lockhart: Freshly caught Cornish pixies [Unable to control himself, Seamus snorts with laughter.] Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnegan, but pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them now!

Lockhart flings open the cage. Instantly, the pixies rocket about, spraying the students with ink bottles, breaking beakers and shredding books. Two seize Neville by the ears, lift him into the air, and begin to circle the ceiling.

"He didn't even tell them how to catch them!" "What the fuck is wrong with him" "Neville!" Scream his parents.

Lockhart: Come on now, round them up, round them up. They're only pixies [brandishing his wand] Peskipiski Pesternomi!

"That's not a real spell" groan Remus, Lily and the Ravenclaws. Everyone glares at Lockhart who cowers away. The teachers sigh in disappointment then glance at Albus 'what is his motive? Everyone knows Lockhart is bad, why hire him' they thought.

The spell has absolutely no effect. A particularly obnoxious pixie makes a face, seizes Lockhart's wand and tosses it out the window. Lockhart joins the stampede to the door.

Lockhart: I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage.

Slamming the door, he's gone. Athena, Ron and Hermione stand blinking. Ron swats a pixie gnawing his ear.

Ron: What do we do now?
Hermione: [raising her wand] Immobilus!

The pixies freeze in midair. Neville falls, plops onto Lockhart's desk, shaken but unhurt. Athena runs up to him checking for injuries.

Alice and Frank smile gratefully at Athena.

Neville: [He looks at Hermione] why is it always me?

Fresh from the pixies, Hermione, Ron, Athena and Neville walk. Hair askew. Robes shredded. Athena is seen trying to sort her hair out.

"Good luck Athena, you've got Potter hair" Monty laughed. Athena grumbled "oh I know gramps my hair takes 2 hours to even straighten" Fred laughs at his girlfriend, the amount of times she has thrown a strop because she couldn't brush her air, he'd loose count.

Ron: Can you believe him?
Hermione: I'm sure Professor Lockhart just wanted to give us some hands-on experience.

Many groaned at Hermione.

Athena: Hands on? Hermione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing. Are you okay? Have you hit your head?
Hermione: Rubbish. Read his books. You'll see all the amazing things he's done.
Ron: He says he's done.

Lockhart Haters all agree with on-screen Ron.

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A/N:
Hello my loves!
How was this chapter?
Poor Athena, I know what it's like having bad hair :(
Have a great day/night
Make sure you stay hydrated and take your medication otherwise you'll have bad hair day for the next 5 years🤍
I love you!

⚡️Mischief Managed⚡️

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