BLOOD AND HEART

58 | HOPELESS

(meanwhile in the phoenix mansion)

N      Y      X

I really feel like pushing someone off the highest cliff. No, I feel like pulling my hair or Zayn's hair. Hell! I just hate all these fucking emotions. Ever since I stepped into this mansion not a single day has passed by without any sort of drama. And this time it certainly wasn't my fault. Not a little bit. I didn't know what made Zayn mad, I was just stating true facts.

What have I ever done to deserve this? How would I know if there was something going on between us? I and Zayn. How am I supposed to understand or know the unsaid things? I just couldn't go around assuming things. Moreover, I'd be the queen of naives if I believed that Zayn would be interested in me, that too romantically.

He has got a body of a Greek god, and charms that can have everyone swooning over him. Though he doesn't smile much, he has got a smile that can give you a real good butterfly effect. His eyes are so goddamn luring. He has some serious flaws but at the same time, he's flawless. People are meant to be an artist but he's a goddamn art. He's ethereal. And on the other hand, I am totally the opposite of him. My body is way shorter, and my charms? Let's not talk about them because I have got none. Smile? How about we talk about my anger issues? People like him don't get involved with people like me. I mean how come anyone picture him with me? He would look perfect with a supermodel. But damn it hurts to imagine him with someone else.

Storming out of the room only get my forehead bumped into a steel forehead "Ouch! I wonder if steel is harder or your forehead" I said, caressing my forehead. First sour Zayn and then forehead. What next? Sour food?

As soon as I saw whom I bumped into, I didn't waste a single breath and started babbling about my so-called misery. However, we both ended up ranting at the same time.

"I hate being pushed away every time! But I'm so hopeless that even I can't help myself"

"It wasn't my fault this time then why am I being ignored?"

"And I don't know what to do anymore, my life is so damn doomed" Levi said, as he stepped into my room.

"Same!"

Levi let out a sigh and said something that I could legit relate with "I am so mad at him. Why can't I just get a bare minimum amount of relief from this male species!"

"I know right? I am so done with men!" I replied, flopping down in my bed.

"Yeah, me too! Who do they think they are? Not everything is their possession! I too have a life. Why can't he just let me live the way I want to? Why can't he let me choose someone who is not him? And on top of that, he says he can't be in my life"

"Exactly! How am I supposed to know what is going on between us, when he wouldn't tell me? I mean, a girl needs some sort of validity or something, anything!"

"This is such a drag!"

I sighed. It indeed is.

"You mad at Octavio?" I asked once I was finished with my ranting. It was quite an experience of ranting at the same time.

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"You were ranting about male species and getting ignored so I figured it out because Octavio is the only one who ignores you," I said, muffling my chuckle.

"Ouch," Levi said, as he dramatically put his hands on his chest. "How are things between you and Zayn?" he asked, making me sigh.

"Well, he's mad at me for a foolish reason"