𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚢 | 𝙷𝚢𝚞𝚗𝙻𝚒𝚡𝙸𝚗

69

[Felix]

Was i extremely nervous? Yes. Did I have any idea how I was gonna voice myself? No. I paved myself back and forth on the other side of the street. Deciding whether or not to walk up those steps and knock of that specific door.

How would I even begin? What do I say? Who will even answer the door. They may not even be home.

I was trying to give myself every excuse to just walk back home and hide away in my room, convincing myself, I'd try again later. Knowing I'd wouldn't and I'd just give up all hope. It's been a month, will they even want to talk to me or even see me?

Especially after my last interaction with one of them.

Before I could control it or even stop it, my feet were moving towards the house and I was at the door. There was no fucking point in going back now. Thanks to my legs betraying me.

I raised my hand to knock, but second guess it and then resorted to chewing on the nails of that same hand. I sighed for the millionth time in the past 5 minutes. Already upset with myself again for not being able to follow through with what I told myself I was going to do.

So I acted without letting myself think about it and banged on the door. It was supposed to be a light knock but fuck it, they definitely heard me.

Seconds later, San opened the door completely shocked to me. I kept my eyes down. "A-are they home?"

"Jeongin is. Why?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. Jeongin might be easier to handle first than Hyunjin anyway.

"I need to talk to him." I've never felt so completely vulnerable and yet no one could see or hear a thing except the weakness in my voice and the nervousness.

"Okay?" He s questioned rhetorically, and stepped aside to let me through the threshold. I waited for San to pass by me and lead me up to Jeongin's room. If I was even supposed to follow. He knocked on the door lightly and Jeongin soon answered, not seeing me behind the build of the older.

"Someone is here to talk to you?" He stepped aside and I was revealed. The cold stare I got from the younger.. hurt. Like really hurt. San left me here with nothing but that cold stare. He left the door open walking in and sitting on the edge of his bed, so I took it as queue to enter, shutting the door behind me.

"Talk. I don't have all damn day." He spat at me and I almost flinched do to the anxiety boiling in my blood.

"I'm sorry..." is all I could muster up.

"You're sorry?" His tone was condescending. "You're sorry?" Now angry. He stood from his bed hands balled at his sides. "You fucking cut us off, no explanation, nothing! Then act like a complete fucking douche bag and all you have to say is 'Sorry?'"

"I don't know what else I can say."

"Oh I don't know! How about be fucking smart and fucking give me an excuse like you gave everyone else!" His anger was valid, but it was overriding my anxiety and triggering my fight or flight response. My brain chose fight.