CHAPTER 58

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Ryan's POV
 
I ache so desperately for the remaining months so she can go and I can be back to my normal self.
 
This is what she wants. If she wanted to be gone, then maybe she will be out of my mind as well.
 
I hate this pathetic feeling in me. 
 
With my hand entwined with hers, we run all the way home. As soon as we are inside the massive gate, I let go of her hand and begin to walk faster so I can get away from her and away from the longing I feel.
 
When I step inside, I hurry towards the staircase. I need to get rid of these clothes and have a hot shower before going to bed.
 
I get to my door, open it and enter before proceeding to remove my clothes. I am halfway done when the door opens again and Valerie comes in.
 
I hear her locking the door from behind and I turn back. "What are you doing here?"
 
"I want to sleep", she answers indifferently and begins to take off her wet clothes too with her gaze still fixed on mine.
 
When she is done taking off the jacket and her top, leaving her in just her bra, I gulp and finally look away.
 
I grab a towel from the closet and proceed towards the bathroom door but she stops me from going in when she rushes to block my way.
 
"Ryan", she calls, searching my face and dropping her wide-spread arms. "Will you please listen to me now?"
 
I shut my eyes. I don't want her to talk about it anymore. I am not interested in any topic regarding that damn picture or about her lover.
 
"Move!" I order with my eyes still closed.
 
She doesn't move and she isn't saying anything either. I open my eyes to see her still standing and watching me intently.
 
"You don't believe me, right?" She asks, shaking her head sadly. "You don't believe I didn't kiss Fred, right?"
 
"Valerie, move out of my way!" I yell and she jerks backward. "I didn't ask you for any explanation, did I?"
 
"Of course, you did", she shouts back sharply, as if expecting my outburst. "Every one of your actions asked for an explanation. Your silent treatment and that coldness that I haven't seen since we got married, they are all asking for explanations."
 
Tears brim in her eyes.
 
"I didn't kiss him. I swear. Why do you think so lowly of me?"
 
For no reason, I want to believe her but remembering this kiss, I realize the picture says otherwise.
 
She didn't pick up my calls. Why? She never told me she bumped into him. Why? 
 
"I didn't kiss Fred", she cries out again with desperation for me to understand and believe her. "As I told you, I bumped into him on my way to your mom's place. He wanted me to get his car fixed and we had lunch because I was curious to know who Celina was to you."
 
I stare up at her with a scrunched face. "Celina?"
 
What has she got to do with this?
 
Valerie nods and folds her arms around her half-naked bosom. "You refused to tell me who she is. I thought Fred would tell me a bit but he didn't."
 
"He kissed you instead?" It sounds more like a question than a statement.
 
She nods and I huff. "Why didn't you push him away?"
 
The relief that crossed her face when I made my last statement is suddenly replaced by surprise.
 
"You didn't push him away", I point out. "How.."
 
"You know what?" She cuts me short. "You are nothing but an idiot. I don't f***ing care what you think anymore", she says and tries to brush past me but I hold her back.
 
My heart begins to race twice its normal rate and I don't really know what else to say or how else to react.
 
I want to believe her. There is no reason for her to kiss him except if she is still in love with Fred. 
 
"I'm sorry", I apologize instead, making her gaze up with mouth agape. She didn't expect that I would apologize out of the blue. I wasn't expecting that too but it came out right.
 
I overreacted.
 
Taking two steps backward, I face her squarely, holding her face in between my palms. "I'm sorry", I whisper again and she nods without a word.
 
When she tries to step away from me, I grab her waist and embrace her, wishing for her to hear the erratic beating of my heart.
 
I don't know when all of this started but it feels like it all happened in a day. My feelings for her started in just one day. It was growing daily but it became fully grown in one day and now I can't go back to when I despised her so much.
 
I want every inch of her. I wish I could tell her how much I feel about her but the reminder of how she took my last confession is discouraging.
 
"Ryan", the voice that usually sends shivers down my spine calls as calmly as possible. I don't move away from the hug, I am still hugging her tightly, waiting for her to say whatever it is she has in mind.
 
I don't mind another rejection but what I saw of her a few minutes ago is enough to say that Valerie also likes me as much as I like her too.
 
She was almost in tears trying to explain to me that she didn't cheat. 
 
I guess this is why I fell in love with her. 
 
That concern. That care. That selflessness. 
 
She might be arrogant and proud but her good side surpasses the bad and I can't help but fall more deeply in love with her.
 
"Ryan", she mutters, more like a whisper. Suddenly, she places her palm on my chest. "Your heart", she mentions and pulls away quickly with a confused look on her face.
 
Her hand is still on my chest. "Your heart is beating so fast", she says and suddenly gasps, as if she is just realizing a huge secret I must have been keeping away from her. "A…re…are you in love…love with me, Ryan?"
 
She doesn't know that I do? 
 
I want to shout a loud yes or nod my head several times till it sinks deeply into her but a lump is stuck in my throat and I feel numb too, unable to move any part of my body.
 
She clamps her hand around her mouth and asks again. "Are you in love…"
 
The numbness disappears and the lump goes down into the pit of my stomach. I grab her again and take her lips in a searing kiss, my tongue seeking dominance and my teeth clashing with hers.
 
My breath mixed with hers produces a familiar scent and I taste every inch of her mouth before pulling away.
 
She is still in shock because her eyes are wide open. 
 
"Does this answer your question now?" I demand from her but she isn't saying anything. She doesn't look like she is going to respond. She seems like she never figured this out.
 
She is too shocked to get the whole message. She never expected that I would be in love with her.
 
I guess my request for her to become my sex partner came out wrong. She misinterpreted my words.
 
Impatiently, I wait for another five seconds for her to at least say something but her lips are tightly sealed while she stares at me with shock.
 
I drop my hand from her face, then walk past her to the bathroom, hoping that kiss will answer her question.

****

Wow, what is happening?

Does Valerie also likes him but she is pretending not to? Will this work? Will she be able to accept him despite everything?

What do you think Ryan can do to win her over?

Comment your thoughts and don't forget to vote.

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