CHAPTER 95

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Ryan's POV 

HE IS NOT YOUR FATHER, RYAN! I LIED.

These were her first words to me. If only I was there before the last moment, I would have heard her say them to me herself instead of writing them down.

I wanted so desperately to hear the whole truth from her but I wanted to give it time. I wanted it to be the right time to ask so she wouldn't give me an excuse not to talk about it but now she is gone.

I will never hear her talk to me again.

I REGRET LYING TO YOU, SON. IT WAS NOT IN MY INTENTION TO DO THAT BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS WORTH IT. APPARENTLY, HE ISN'T WORTH IT.

I THOUGHT I COULD CHANGE HIM. I THOUGHT I WAS DOING A GREAT JOB CHANGING HIM FROM THE MAN HE USED TO BE BUT NOW THAT IT IS TOO LATE, I REALIZE HOW MUCH DAMAGE I HAVE CAUSED TO YOU AND MYSELF.

YOUR BIOLOGICAL FATHER DIED A MONTH BEFORE YOU CAME TO THE WORLD. DAVIS STOOD BESIDE ME AND HE WAS LIKE A FATHER FIGURE. I NEVER KNEW HE HAD ULTERIOR MOTIVES.

I REGRET HAVING YOU USE HIS SURNAME INSTEAD OF DARCEL'S NAME. I REGRET LYING TO YOU. I REGRET MAKING YOU BELIEVE THAT HE IS YOUR FATHER WHEN HE ISN'T. 

I REGRET MEETING HIM.

HE IS UP TO NO GOOD AND I WANT YOU TO PROMISE ME TO BE FINE. I BARELY KEPT SECRETS AWAY FROM YOU BUT THIS HUGE SECRET WAS TOO HARD FOR ME TO REVEAL. I COULDN'T BARE TO SEE THE HURT AND PAIN FLASHING ACROSS YOUR EXPRESSION WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW HE ISN'T YOUR FATHER.

I WANTED YOU TWO TO BE ON GOOD TERMS. YOU WERE ALWAYS ON EACH OTHER'S NECK. HE ALWAYS TELLS ME ABOUT HOW DIFFICULT OF A CHILD YOU WERE AND HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT HIM.

HOW I MANAGED TO KEEP MY COOL ALL THESE YEARS AMAZES ME. I AM INDEED A STRONG WOMAN.

I LOVE YOU, SON. I WISH I CAN KEEP TO MY PROMISE OF STAYING ALIVE TO SEE YOUR CHILD BUT I DON'T THINK SO.

DAVIES MUST BE SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW PLANNING ON HOW TO KILL ME. IF I DIE, EVERYTHING I OWE BELONGS TO HIM.

DO NOT LET HIM TAKE IT ALL AWAY. 

CHECK MY ROOM CABINET. THERE IS A SAFE LOCK SOMEWHERE AROUND, YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING USEFUL IN THERE.

I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO FORGIVE ME FOR DOING THIS. TELL VALERIE THAT I LOVE HER TOO AND I HOPE YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER WILL NEVER FADE AWAY.

THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN KEEP SMILING WHEREVER I AM.

DO NOT HATE ME. 

A tear rolls down my eyes and another till I begin to wail like a child as the realization hits me like a volcanic rock.

This is it!

She is gone!

I was trying so hard not to read it. But I couldn't ignore the curiosity eating at me. I wanted to know more but there isn't more except for the fact that my biological father is also dead and I am now an adult orphan.

I didn't want to read the note because I thought if I did, then it means she is really dead. I was hoping, wishing, and holding onto a loose strand of hope for her survival, for a possible miracle so I can tell her that I still love her no matter what and that I forgive her.

She did the wrong thing for the wrong person. Someone who didn't deserve it. He married her for the money. And he got rid of her for the money too.

I don't even need Mother to tell me that Anita isn't my sister before figuring that out. She hasn't even called or asked her since Mother was admitted. I hate the years I spent with those two thinking we were families.

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