Lily

chapter Six

'I was told I was dangerous.
I asked why,
they said, "Because you don't need anyone."
that's when I smiled, but inside, I knew I was only kidding myself.'

-unknown

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Alpha Xavier Red Blood's POV

I have been described as a lot of things in my life, but weak wasn't one of them. I was ruthless and merciless, and I liked it.

When I found out Lily was my mate, though,a lot of feelings came over me. Feelings I had tried keep buried for a long time.

I recalled her eyes. Whenever she looked at me, it wasn't in fear. It was more like she was fascinated by me.

I didn't understand that, though.

I was used to people fearing me and running for the hills every time someone even uttered my name.

It had always been that way, but a part of me was pleased my mate wasn't afraid me.

I wouldn't reject her.

It was already unfair on Lily that she was mated to me of all werewolves.

She didn't deserve to go through the pain that rejection came with. I was doing her favour by staying away from her, though, and not being mates with her.

I could tell she had been through a lot. I was only giving her a place in my pack to provide her with protection.

Other alphas would do anything to have the fear and power I hold over other werewolves.

Lily would be in constant danger if I had just let her leave my pack. Besides,my wolf wanted to be close to her.

I was currently in my office as I stared at the picture of my first mate. I stared at her picture.

Lily would never be able to replace my first mate,but knowing I had a second mate gave me hope.

Hope for the future and myself.

I slammed my fist on the table in frustration.This is exactly what I was worried about.

Having a mate made me weak. Lily was a weakness, nothing more.

I couldn't afford to be weak.

Though,there were other reasons why I couldn't let myself get close to Lily. Losing my first mate took a toll on me.

As an alpha,I don't have many fears, but I was afraid of one main thing.

I was afraid of loving again.

I didn't want to be hurt again, and I didn't want to hurt Lily either.

Most likely, Lily would also find being my mate tricky.

I kept reminding myself of these things as I walked out of my office and into my bedroom.

I couldn't sleep that night. My thoughts were filled with my mate. Every time I  closed my eyes,all I saw were Lily's blue orbs.

Her room was only a few doors away from mine, but I didn't want to disturb her. I blocked my wolf out as he kept telling me to go to her.

I refused, though. I kept repeating one thing in my mind, though.

Lily was my weakness  and I had to keep my distance from her...