Lily

Chapter fourty four

44

Nothing is stronger than a broken man trying to rebuild himself '

-unknown

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Lily's Pov

"She's lost a lot of a blood,"a panicked voice sounded out from behind me.

My eyes were closed, and I had a constant ringing in my ears, but all I felt was pain.

Emotional and physical pain.

There was constant beeping all around me as I lay with my eyes closed. My chest hurt, and there was a needle like pain in my side.

"I'm so sorry, Lily,"a voice came.Then the pain was gone, and the warmth of a hand on mine replaced it.

I know that voice.

Xavier.

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The second time I woke up,my head was a lot clearer, but the warm hand that had engulfed mine before was gone.

My mate was gone.

My eyes opened slowly as I sat up in the small hospital bed. As I sat up,I noticed that I had a large bandage wrapped around the side of my left hip.

"Oh Lily,"a familiar voice came out. Elisa appeared in the room,followed by Isabella and Adam.

"On my god,are you okay? How do you feel,should I-"I cut Elisa off as I winced at the sudden pain in my side.

"I'm fine,Elisa. I promise,"I rushed out at my friend. Isabella and Adam gave me sympathetic looks, and I gave them a small smile.

All I cared about in that moment was Xavier. I didn't know what state he was in, but I had reassured him that what happened wasn't his fault.

I needed to find him and let him know that I forgave him and tell him that I didn't blame him for what happened.

"Where is he?"I finally asked. A tense silence greeted me, and I watched as Adam and Isabella shared a look between them.

"Where is he?!"My voice came out louder as my heart yearned with longing for my mate.

When I was met again with silence,I took a deep breath before starting to get out of .

"Wait,Lily. You should rest -"Isabella started, but all I did was glare at her.

All I wanted was to find my mate. I needed to know if he was okay, but no one was giving me any answers.

"He's in his office, but -"I didn't wait for Adam to finish his sentence as I rushed out of the room.

I ran through the halls of the pack house to get to Xavier's office. My heart pounded, and my side was slightly hurting again, but I didn't stop running.

As I stopped outside of my mate's office door,I stopped. Would he want to see me after what happened?

What if, instead of putting his mind at ease,I only ended up making Xavier feel even more guilty about what happened?

I gathered my thoughts together before ramming the door open with my elbow.

There he was.

Xavier sat at his desk,his head on his hands as he stared over at the numerous paperwork in front of him.

Sensing my presence, Xavier looked at me. I stared at the sight of him. His usual tidy hair was all over the place,the strands sticking out everywhere.

His eyes were bloodshot, his red irises looking weird in the midst of all the small veins in his eyes.

"Oh, Xavier."I whispered as I went closer to him, but I was shocked when he held up his hand and signalled for me to stop.

"Don't come any closer -"he croaked,his voice hoarse and even gruffly than usual.

"Xavier -"I tried again, but he just looked away from me.

This hurt me. It was like it was happening all over again. Me and Xavier had come so far,I didn't want him to put up his walls again and distance himself from me.

"Lily,just stay away from me. Please,I don't want to hurt you again. Everyone that gets close to me always gets hurt,"Xavier said.

I thought back to what Xander had said about Xavier killing Xander's previous mate, Mirabella.

What if he ended up hurting me worse than he had already?

A fear came over me, but I pushed it aside. My mate needed me, and I needed to make him see that he wasn't the monster everyone had painted him out to be.

I took careful steps toward my mate, but all my mate did was let out a loud growl.

"Lily,I'm a monster. I thought you knew that by now. I don't want to hurt you again, "Xavier said.

And then he let out a loud sob...