Meetha sa Ruhani ISHQ

113. Mini is also a heavy sleeper like Neil?

Neil was adoring her words by moving his fingers on the page and feeling her emotions deep down to the core of his heart, he turned the page.

"Hi Dear diary... Can you believe when I say ki main movie date pe enjoy karke aayi hu?.... Abhi to tu believe kar bhi legi kyunki already bahot pagalo wali baatein bata chuki hu main tujhe... par agar kuch mahino pehle tujhe aisa batati main to main khud ko pagal samajh leti... lekin aaj yeh reality hai... ki main mere Neil ke saath movie date enjoy karke aa rahi hu... ha mera Neil... aur kya... ab to vo mera hi hai na.... tujhe pata hai.... jaise aadhi movie tak vo mujhe hi dekh raha tha na... uski nazerein jis shiddat se mujhpe pad rahi thi....vo feel karke hi gaal laal ho gaye the mere... Par phir jab thoda sa intimate scene aa gaya tha Neil bilkul laal ho gaya.... bechara discomfort se bhar gaya tha... dikhayega bahot jaise bada sharaarti ho... par main jaanti hu na... dil se abhi bhi bahot innocent hai... had se zyada innocent... uska yahi bholapan to usko itna adorable bana deta hai kabhi kabhi ki aisehi dekhti rahu main usko.... agar aaj movie theatre ki jagah ghar pe lagi hoti to usko mere kandhe pe aise sota hua dekhkar.... na maine usko jagaya hota... aur na shayad main so paati... bas usko dekhti rehti.... aur dekhti hi rehti.... Yeh kitna naya sa ehsaas hai na... jo mujhe kuch mahino se hone laga hai... ki Neil me mujhe apni ek alag hi sukoon bhari duniya dikhayi deti hai... jisme khud ko kuch arse ke liye khota hua paakar aisa lagta hai jaise manzil mil gayi ho mujhe meri apni.... ha aisi bahot si khwahishein hai meri zindagi se adhoori si.... par Neil un sab khwahishon se pare lagne laga hai ab mujhe.... kya hai yeh ehsaas?.... jise naam bhi nahi de sakti main shayad... huh.... I think I should calm down.... ho sakta hai mera dimaag zyada hi chal gaya hai aaj... so jaana chahiye mujhe.... Bye."

Neil was a little confused with her words at the end but then turned the page to next one. The page had some tear marks on the end which got Neil a little tensed.

"Hi dear diary.... mujhe pata hai bahot din ho gaye tujhse baat kiye.... Arya ka birthday tha to uski taiyaari karni thi.... vo itni khush thi pure waqt ki main bata nahi sakti... phir restaurant ko bhi ab multi cuisine restaurant bana rahe the na main aur Neil milke.... kal inauguration bhi hai... par...."

The deep and big dot after the word 'par' was telling Neil that Mini had zoned off while writing it.

"Aaj Neil ko allergic attack hua aur jab vo saans nahi le paa raha tha to aisa lag raha tha jaise.... jaise...."

Again a big dot.

Neil could understand how disturbed she would have got thinking all of that again.

"Kya aisa ho sakta hai ki kisi ek hi insaan ke aas paas aapki puri duniya lage aapko to vo dependency na ho..... kya kisi ek hi insaan ko itna chahna ki uski zindagi apni zindagi se zyada important lagne lage yeh ehsaas hona normal hai?.... yeh dar yeh anxiety yeh tadap yeh ghabrahat... kya yeh sab normal hai?.... kyu ab sirf itna sochke ki Neil kis halat me tha jab vo saansein nahi le paa raha tha.... itna dar lagta hai ki dil baith jaata hai... meri khud ki saansein ruk jaati hai... kyu aisa feel ho raha hai mujhe... yeh jaante hue bhi ki ab Neil theek hai main kyu abhi bhi vo pal sochkar pareshaan ho ja rahi hu?.... jab Neil ko apne saath khada paati hu.... even apne khyaalon me.... to taqat kyu feel hoti hai mujhe?.... jab usko apne se dur sirf khayaalon me hi.... sochti hu to dar kyu lagta hai?.... Kya pyaar aapko taaqat dene ke saath saath itna kamzor bhi kar deta hai andar se?.... Naeem Bi jaisa keh rahi thi uss din ki maine abhi tak bahot se aise pyaar se jude jazbaat hai jo samjhe nahi hai.... kya yeh bhi unme se ek hai?.... ki main apni zindagi uske bina soch bhi nahi paa rahi hu ab?..... Kya Neil bhi yeh sab feel karta hoga?"

Neil had tears in his eyes reading this and sensing how deeply his condition affected Mini.

He turned the page but saw that it was the continuation of the previous diary entry and there was only one question written on the top.