Meetha sa Ruhani ISHQ

155. Neil calms down Mini

Later at night, 

Mini was standing in the balcony with her hands on the parapet and her chin raised high as she was looking at the sky.

Neil came with two coffee cups in his hands and kept them on the handrest of the couch.

Coming behind her, he backhugged her, keeping his chin on her shoulder. 

Neil: Mini.... itne dino se dekh raha hu... Australia jaane me jaise jaise din kam ho rahe the tumhare tension badhti hi ja rahi thi.... mujhe laga kuch dino me theek ho jayega.... par nahi hua.... kyu itna soch rahi ho?

Mini: Bahot ajeeb sa lag raha hai mujhe....jaisa kuch chut raha ho.... jaise kuch chin raha ho... Ek tug sa feel ho raha hai dil me.... Pehle mujhe laga tha ki shayad achanak hua sab kuch isiliye.... phir laga shayad preparation nahi hai isiliye.... phir laga shayad thoda sochna band kar du to theek ho jayega.... phir bhi abhi tak nahi nikal rahi hai yeh ajeeb si feeling..... Kya karu?.... 

Neil: Hmmm.... Main ek min aaya...

He went and returned in some mins. He looked little awkward with a weird scare on his face.

He sat beside her and held her hand in his. 

Mini: Kya hua?

Neil: Mini... Main jo bolne wala hu.... agar tumhe bura bhi lage to samajhne ki ek baar koshish zarur karna....

Mini: Mujhe tumhari baat ka bura lagega?... aisa kya bolna chah rahe ho?

Neil: Tumhari babes se tum kyu naraaz hui thi?.... 

Mini was shocked as why Neil took out this topic suddenly.

Neil: Sirf isiliye na ki unhone apni identity ko importance na dete hue... uss relation me hi apni individuality kho di thi.... haina?

Mini nodded.

Neil: Kyunki unko dar tha Mini ki vo apni professional success gain karne ki wajah se kahin tumhare hanuman uncle se dur na ho jayein... Vo ek relation se itna buri tarah toot chuki thi ki dusre relation pe apna sab kuch chod kar bhi uss relation ko apni zindagi banana chahti thi.... There was nothing wrong in it if this was her own choice.... 

Mini: Par aise kisi relation me khud ki identity kaise kho dena kya sahi hai?.... Khud ki self respect pe compromise karna sahi hai?.... Apne husband ke aage hi sahi par haath failaana kya chubhta nahi tha usko ek independent lady banne ke baad?... Main yeh nahi kehti thi ki vo Hanuman Uncle pe emotionally dependent na ho... main bas yeh kehti thi ki vo apni self respect ke liye dependent na ho.... 

Neil: But yeh uss generation ka tarika tha Mini.... khud ko puri tarah devote kar dena hi unko uss relation me hone ka satisfaction deta tha... Unko apna kuch bhi apne husband se upar nahi lagta tha... 

Mini: Apni identity bhi nahi?..... Kuch ki achievement pe proud feel karna bhi nahi?

Neil: Tumhe aisa nahi lag raha hai abhi ki tum Australia chali jaogi to kaise rahogi?.... Tumhe aisa nahi lag rha hai ki tum jaana chahkar bhi nahi jaana chah rahi ho?.... Tumhe tumhare sapne bula rahe hai to tumhe accha lag raha hai par mujhse dur jaana usse jyada bura nahi lag raha?

Mini was taken aback with the sudden turn of the discussion to her.

Mini: Matlab?

Neil: Tumhari Babes ko aisa hi lagta tha Mini ki agar unhone apni identity to pakda to vo tumhare Hanuman Uncle se chut jayengi.... Jaise abhi tumko kahin na kahin lag raha hai par kyunki tumhare dil me yakeen hai ki tum mujhe nahi khone waali ho... uss yakeen ki wajah se hi tum ja rahi ho... warna...  Aaj usi position pe tum bhi ho Mini.... Aur tum bhi yahi feel kar rahi ho...