Helluva Deal

99. Everything. Is. Okay.

Blitz closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in and lets the cool night air fill his lungs.

Undoubtedly, one of the best things about his new home is the platform on top of the castle.

It's peaceful up here. He loves this. It reminds him so much of that carefree day and the evening he spent with Stolas at their tree as children.

His thumbs lightly brush along the balustrade he's leaning on and he puts his head in his neck, exhaling slowly.

Then another deep breath in.

He's here. Alive. Unharmed.

His family is well and safe.

All of them.

Another exhale.

Everything is okay.

Inhale.

Everything. Is. Okay.

But why does he hurt so bad then?

Exhale.

His claws dig into the balustrade.

Images start flashing on front of his eyes.

His mother. Crying. Suffering. Fighting with her husband. In pain...

Inhale.

Blitz feels tears running out of his still shut squeezed eyes, „What if I really made everything worse for her with stressing her by being the way I am?"

The person he's addressing finally steps out of the shadows and right next to him now, not really surprised about the fact that Blitz obviously already noticed his presence again.

„You would do anything for Loona, Via or Astrea, Dear. And you would never blame them for you getting hurt. Because you love them and as their parent it's your duty to keep them safe," Alastor also leans on the banister now, looking at the night sky, his voice soft and still openly weakened, just like the rest of his body, „You aren't what your father claims you to be and therefore very likely you've NEVER been what he claimed you to be. Of course, having kids can be stressful. Nobody of us can relate to that more than you and Stolas, because you already HAVE kids. And yes, Dear, especially you forget your own well-being over caring especially for your baby now. But as much as we love to rebuke you for this, it is normal. And yes, you maybe picked that trait up from your mother. But you'd never claim it's a bad trait to have for yourself, right? Then don't try to think it was for your mother. Because no matter what Cash said, she loved you, Blitz. She loved you and she cared deeply for you. Your memories can't be wrong, because..."

„...I also remember her that way. I was blind in everything concerning your father obviously, but I witnessed how much Tilla loved you, Blitz," Fizz now leans at Blitz' other side on the balustrade as well, glancing at his childhood friend, a soft smile on his lips, „She was the kindest, gentlest imp, I've ever known. And YOU come right after, taking SO much after her. Al is completely right about that."

Finally, Blitz opens his eyes again and exhales slowly once more. Then he swallows thickly and glances from left to right, „I'm glad you didn't come up here alone, Alastor. You're supposed to safe yourself..."

„As are you, Dear. Especially after everything you've been through today again. Yet you are standing here, philosophizing about whether you've been a burdening, bad child. What you clearly weren't," Alastor gently grabs one of the imp's hands, squeezing it very softly, „Your mother did not die because of you, Blitz."

„But the fire..."

„Blitz, think about it. Think about this with your great detection skills again now. The fire was caused by your accident, yes. But except for you and me getting badly hurt, your mother was the only demon that couldn't escape the fire," Fizz takes Blitz' other hand, squeezing it as well, but firmer than Alastor, „Blitz. She only died because she was sick and couldn't flee. But that was NOT YOUR fault."