Evil Plan

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Katrina's POV

My face drained of color when I saw the smile he gave me.

It wasn't a hey cutie what's your number, smile. More like I can't wait to make you cry and drink your tears for dessert, smile.

My stomach dropped.

"What did I say before I left?" He asked me patiently like he was talking to a child.

I looked down at the ground, "goodbye?" I asked hopefully.

He smiled wider.

Oh shit.

"More along the lines of, don't do anything stupid or you'll be punished" he said still smiling.

"I feel like you said a solid good bye" I said nervously inching away from him.

"You wish" he muttered darkly.

He had no idea.

"Now tell me, when I said don't do anything stupid, do you think destroying my shit, knocking my boy unconscious, and trying to swim thousands of feet up, nearly drowning, trying to escape, counts as stupid?" He asked me looking at me like a was a toddler and he was my parents.

"... Honestly, I think it depends on who you ask" I said.

Without warning or hesitation, he shoved me in the chest. He used so much force that I sent flying backwards a good few feet before completely tipping over the side of the building.

There is no way to describe how it feels when you think you are going to die.

It's almost calming as you look back on everything you've done, that took me a solid second before I realized I hadn't done much and most of what I had done was too embarrassing for words.

So after that I went to the second best thing.

I realized I didn't want to fucking die, and especially only at the age of 20.

So I screamed.

I screamed because I was most likely going to hell.

I screamed because I knew when I hit the ground my face would be so ugly, I'd have a closed casket at my funeral.

And I screamed because ... Damnit I didn't want to die.

Would it hurt?

Would Jesus welcome me?

Or would I become Satan's mistress?

So many questions, so many things I wanted to do, like ... Ride a motorcycle. Or I don't know not die a Virgin.

When that piece of information hit me I seemed to scream louder.

I wanted to plan my wedding, force my kids to do everything I didn't, like become gymnast, and pro athletes, and become the fucking president.

But no.

I get the flattened pancake storyline.

The ground was a solid inch away from my face before I suddenly stopped falling. But even then I continued to scream bloody murder as I levitated an inch above the ground.

My face directly in front of the sidewalk.

I was suddenly flipped around and came face to face with golden eyes.

He looked too amused, while I just continued screaming my ass off.

Finally I calmed down enough, and realized the bitch who dropped me, was the ass who saved me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist for dear life, as I continuously chanted, "I'm sorry Jesus"

Blue Doom thought this was hilarious as he continuously kept laughing.

Not manly chuckles either, but full on 'I just witnessed someone shit themselves' laugh.

He slowly lifted us back into the air, causing my arms and legs to only tighten more.

After a good 100 feet off the ground we started to slowly fly back to the coast.

"Now, What have we learned today?" He asked me like I was a child.

He shouldn't have. My over sharing mouth was in control, and this bitch was spilling secrets.

"That I haven't done anything in life, and everything I have done is beyond embarrassing. My greatest achievement was getting into college and even that was embarrassing. I tripped into my interview with the dean, and I even quoted 50 Shades of Grey, by accident, and she totally caught it. My parents are assholes, which is probably why I am too! I through an eight year old into a swimming pool and his mother tasered me. My one solid boyfriend was a complete greasy nerd and his ugly ass cheated on me. I mean who gets cheated on by the person they are pity dating?! I was dating him out of pity, and of course I wouldn't touch him was a ten foot pole, but you know he was smart and nerdy and the guys I usually liked only liked to try to get me to do one thing. Which of course I never did, then of course that means me being here with you, I'll probably die a virgin" I was on full on tears now.

"I won't have kids! And my ducking hips are so fucking huge no matter what diet I go on, so obviously I was meant to have kids, or at least I should say I did because my ass is too big for me to not have kids. Then I've just hit that fucking freshman thirty like a bitch. Freshman thirty! As in thirty pounds, and I'm a fucking junior. No wonder he cheated on me! I'm a fucking fat ass!" I could stop sobbing. I can't pull myself together.

"Then you've kidnapped me, and I don't know why! I mean I know I'm attractive so are you going to sell me into some type of sex ring? Because I watched Taken and I'm not made for that shit. I cried in How to Train your Dragon 2, like full on Titanic cried. How am I suppose to survive this? This is probably karma you know, I'm such a horrible person! I judge people! I shouldn't do that, fifty bucks it's somewhere in the bible where it says you shouldn't judge people, but I do it anyway, you know? But it's not my fault, people literally want me to judge them! Like why would you wear your yoga pants when those bitches became to tight ten years ago? Why dye your hair shit green and expect me not to judge you, or you know crack a joke or too? Damnit! I mean I even judge you, what if you are an evil fucking psychopath, but really you're just misunderstood. Why do I think you're evil? The ducking media! And why do they think you're evil ... Because you burn down buildings and there was that one time you through a death shark at Star Man's meet and greet photo shoot, which was hilarious. I mean I laughed, which of course I got shit for. But maybe you do everything for a reason, you know and maybe if everyone just listened we could understand too" I said the Atlantic Ocean coming into view. My eyes were still raining the Niagara Falls into his super suit.

"I want to destroy every super" he said, before pinching me in the neck slightly causing me to immediately pass out.

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