On Tour With 5sos...

can't be together and don't want to go

"You all wonder why we are here" Gruella says standing infront of us all.

We sit at a large table, Luke and i next to eachother holding hands under the table.

"Acturely yes, we need to get ready for tonight" Michael mumbles.

"Well that's all because of Luke and Hailey" she looks with mad eyes to me.

Luke squesez my hand a bit harder feeling that our knockels get white.

"You aren't going to say that you are happy for us as couple, aren't you" Luke says.

Couple?

That word makes me blush and give me a big smile.

"No, you aren't a couple and it's not going to happen" she says without emotion.

"Yes we are and we're happy" Luke says mad.

"Luke, look this can't go, the fans think know that you guys chose Black Is The New Pink because you were in 'secret' a couple" she says looking to me.

"But the fans love Huke or Lailey" Ashton protests.

"It's not going to happen, luke need to be single the hole tour!" She yells.

"You can't stop us from loving eachother and this conversation is over!"Luke yells taking my hand and walk outside followed by the rest leaving a mad Patricia.

"Don't worry Babe we still going to be a couple" Luke plants a kiss on my cheek and put his arm around my waste pulling me closer.

"She can't break another relationship" Michael mumbles sad looking to Zerah and walk outside.

-After the show-

I walk into the tourbus waving goodbye to the Dutch fans.

I walk to my bunk and close my curtain putting my earphones on and crawl into a ball and begin to cry.

I don't want to go.

I love this place.

It's my heart,

My soul,

I don't want to feel this again.

"Babe?" I hear Luke call for my bunk.

"Go away" i sniff

"Babe" luke whispers, seeing his shadow now for the curtain.

I begin to cry but in silence, no sound, cause all the sound i gave was gone.

I hear the curtain open and a second later Luke's arm around me.

"Come here" he whispers planting a kiss on my cheek.

I turn around putting my head in his chest crie it all out.

"It's okay" he whispers in my ear. "Feelings like this need a home and i'm here to give them a place" he plays with my hair and whispers nice words in my ear.

"Here" he puts a little pinguin cuddle out of his back.

Did he had that all the time?

"His name is Cutie and he's for you, to cheer you up" he smiles.

I take the pinguin and give him a kiss on Luke's cheek.

"Thank you" i whisper giving a weak smile.

"Try to sleep" i nodd and get closer to him.

So we're taking the long way home, cause i don' t wonna wasting my time alone.

he sings quiet making me sleepy and fall insleep in his arms

-next morning-

I open my eyes and see that Luke's staring at me.
Big bags under his eyes.

"Goodmorning" he smiles.

"Did you sleep?" I ask.

"A bit" he yawhns and i give him a peck on his lips.

"Go back to sleep then" i demand and he nodds pulling me closer and close his eyes.

I think about the words what Patricia said, you guys aren't a couple

You guys aren't a couple, you guys aren't a couple, you guys aren't a couple.

But we are... though?

Pff who wants to be with you?

I think.

I'm ugly, no talented, i need to die,
He can get better.

He truely can get better, much and MUCH better.

I roll out of the bunk and tip toe to my suitcase.

I take my familiar silver blade out of a eyeshadow case what i use to hide in.

I run to the little bathroom and close it.

I sit on the toilet and pull my sleeve up and press the blade against the skin of my arm and slice, one, 2, 3, 17 times.

The blood drips off my arm on the floor and i just look at it.

My depression comes back.

It's short i know but i'm tired and sad, depression pulling up right now.
Xx