On Tour With 5sos...

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It's weird, isn't it? That people can change so fast in their mind but so slow in reality. That they can cry for hours and the next thing they do is smile. That we can forgive someone so fast and so much times. Maybe that's something we call humanity.

I write the last sentince in my thoughtsbook, yes a thoughts book, i write all my thoughts in a book so i maybe can use them later for songs or something. When you go to the first 30 pages you will only see sad sentinces and texts that was from my depression, it will go about what's so good about life and people hurting eachother, but go furter and you find happy ones about love, exploring and all that kind of stuff, and now we are where we are now. It all begins again.

"Hey hailey, we are going to the mc donalds are you coming with us?" Amber askes, opening the curtain of my bunk a bit.
I shook my head and give her a week smile.

"We will bring you some" she smiles befor giving a kiss on my cheek and walks away.

Food, i loved food, i coudn'd get enough of it but now... i feel fat if i eat so i prefer not to.

I hear the door shut and jump out of my bunk, not to expect someone in the bus. I walk to the front and sit down on one of the coutches, leggs crossd.

I look down to my bare leggs, showing all my scars, the words i carved into my flesh with the sharp metal.

Ugly

Fat

Slut

Worthless

Dead....

"Why?" A cracking voice suddenly says.

I shoot up, panicking when i see Luke standing by the door, tears in his eyes.
I quikly walk to my bunk but he goes after me, taking my arm and pulls me back into a hugg.

"Why?" He askes again, now sobbing. "Did i do this?" He cries.

I can't answer, words in my mouth ready to say but there's no sound. Nothing.
The only thing i can do is hugg him back, but then i forgive him and i can't forgive him. But on the other hand, i cheated on him too....

"I know what you did with Ashley, Hailey, and i'm still sorry about what i have done.
I was drunk and stupid and the boys needed to hold me back when that slut came to me. But they were to drunk to give a damn.
Hailey,I can't live without you, you are my everything. I'm so sorry please take me back. I will be there for you and never let you go" he cries.

I sigh, not noticing i also was crying.
I can forgive him, but he chased me into the arms of my depression again.
Can i forgive him for that? For almoste killing myself? For still hurting myself? To let me think awful things about myself?

I sigh again, wrapping my arms around him "maybe" i whisper, my voice cracking on the end. "Slowly, small steps"

"Thank you" Luke whispers.

*

"Hailey, you need to eat" Amber says while shoving the hamburger infront of me back.

"I'm not hungry, Amber" i snap and shove it back.

Luke sits down to me and cross his arms. "You're not going to leave your place befor you've eaten that burger" he commands , looking me straight in the eyes.

I look away, avoiding the eye contact and look through the window to the highway."then it's going to be a long night" i mumble.

"Hailey, eat or you aren't coming with us on warped" Tracy says, who's in Calum's arms.

"Hella yes that i'm going on warped" i snap to her.

"Then eat" Amber says, shoving the hamburger closer to me.

I sigh looking to the food infront of me, the calories DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THERE ARE IN A FUCKING HAMBURGER.

I play with the packadge from it, not knowing if i should open it.

"Please" Luke whispers in my ear, i look to his side, his bright blue eyes full of pain.

I nodd slightly befor slowly opening the packadge and take the small hamburger in my hand.
I look up to Amber who gives me an death look that if i don't eat it i will be murdered.

I take a small bite of the hamburger, quikly biting on it and swallow it through my throat, inmediately having the urge to throw up.

I eat the half of the hamburger and put it down. "I'm full" i say leaning back.

"Doesn't matter, eat" Amber says nodding to me.

I sigh taking a huge bite and chew on it a couple times befor swallowing, while Amber smiling like a dork.

I eat the rest of the hamburger and Luke let me go.
I try to walk closely to the bathroom and close it.

"Hailey,if you throw up, you are not going on warped" Zerah shouts from the bunks.

I sigh and just pee befor walking back into the loung and cuddle up next to Luke. Not because i want to, but because i just want to hugg.

I get a small smile from Ashton, who's sitting across from us, while wiggeling his eyebrows "so you guys are good again?" He askes and Luke nodds.

"Kind off" i answer, closing my eyes and letting darkness come over me.

"We're taking it slow" I hear Luke say.
"But i never stopped loving her"

I love you to Ashley

Wait

What?

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Short chapter but sorry

Huke is back together kind of yay

But what do you think?

Hashley or huke?

Ehhehe

I'm still feeling shitty

Comment and vote

Lub you guys