Alone With Ross

•42•

June 3rd, 2012
It's nice to just be able to let go of your thoughts and drown yourself in music. Especially if the songs were made by the person you love.

This new song was a recent one, and this time it isn't about me. Which is refreshing to know he has other muses, but this song is much darker than the others, and it makes me want to know what the hell was going through his head when he wrote it.

I used to sit around in hopes for an escape

You came, but it was a bit too late.

Tossing and turning,

Stomach always churning.

Watching you change

And leave.

Oh why did you leave?

How was I not enough?

Oh why do they always leave?

Aren't I enough?

•••

"Did you know that all of the colors in a butterfly's wing is made up by just one cell? So now scientists are trying to figure out how to do that for televisions instead of using the six basic colors."

"I'm banning you from the Internet if you're just going to use it for useless information." I crossed my arms across my chest and Ross sighed exiting off of the butterfly website.

"Okay, I'm just bored can we do something?" He said exasperated.

"I am doing something." I held up my journal and Ross grimaced.

"You've had your nose in your journal for five days, what could you possibly need to write?" He whined. He must be really bored because he knows to never complain about my writing habits.

"I'm trying to pick up poetry again. But I just keep getting stumped between rhymes, or some deep shit that sounds too morbid and depressing." I threw my journal down on the bed and laid down next to Ross. "I just wish I could lay my brain out and wipe it clean of all the clutter, because I'm drowning in a sea of thoughts." I sighed and Ross laughed a bit.

"That was a poem right there."

I rolled my eyes and slapping his chest as I curled up to him.  "You know what's poetry?" I said I leaned up to kiss his throat.

"What?" He asked.

"When you say my name." I said trying to keep a straight face, but I failed miserably and snorted making Ross laugh in return.

"Cheesy, and cheeky... I like it." 

I beamed at him as I sat up and got up and pulled his arm, wrenching him off the bed.

"Let's go for a run, I need to clear my damn head."
•••

"My lungs!" I heaved out while trying to run past Ross. "I was just kidding! I don't want to race you!"

"Then why are you still running?" He said breathily.

I stopped abruptly and leaned down to rest my hands on my knees, but I just gave up and plopped down on the ground.

"You. Little. Shit." I huffed and Ross laughed as he laid down beside me on the grass still breathing heavy.

"Why did you offer running? We're so out of shape!" He laughed.

I laughed too and shrugged my shoulders. "We used to be in our prime, I used to run five miles every morning just for boxing, look at my tummy." I lifted my shirt and poked at my stomach and Ross scoffed pulling my shirt down.

"Shut up, who cares about your flaws." He said and I have him a look and he seemed to freeze up. "Okay I worded that wrong." He chuckled and I gave him another look making him sigh. "You know what maybe I didn't, who cares about your flaws, other than you?"

I sat there for a bit thinking. "Media?"

Ross then returned my looks and rolled his eyes. "You're not famous, so there's no standards of perfect for us, so lets go get a burger." He grabbed my hand and we both stood and I was in disbelief as he dragged us to the car.

"We're all sweaty though!" I exclaimed.

"Once again, who cares about your flaws other than you?"

I stood there a bit. "The public." I muttered.

And Ross just continued to drag me to the car. "They're concerned with themselves, now pick the greatest burger joint you can think of, and we can go without any concerns about our persons." He offered and I sat there intrigued by this idea that he's shoving in my brain.

"Beck's burgers." I said finally and Ross nodded in approval as he drove out with his new car that Mama Vi bought for him from a friend at work.

It's a piece of shit.

But aren't we all?

•••

"Okay. I'll admit, good call on the burgers." I said as we got back into his car and Ross nodded as he started it and drove out.

Some song was playing in the background, but I wasn't focused on that.

What I was focused on was the sight of Ross sitting behind the wheel humming along as the sunset beamed down, making his blond hair glow.

I felt my chest tighten at this new sight and I looked down at his shirt to see a ketchup stain making me smile.

I never felt anything this strong before.

I felt new.

I felt repaired.

I felt unbroken.

I felt loved.

This part right here was when my love for Ross actually hit me.

And this is the part where he was actually teaching me how to live my life, instead of just surviving.

Surviving is overrated. Who needs that bullshit when you could look down to your left hand to see that it's tied to an incredible human being.

I want to live and thrive off of not caring about what others think. I want to live.

No more stressing over things I can't change. No more useless drama. No more.

I just need to keep my grades in check so I can graduate and leave this damn house so I can continue living.

And if Ross is still there, I'd be more than happy to chase the sun with him.

••••••••
Question for this chapter:

When Caspain considers her future, why do you think she always mentions Ross at the end?

So school has been hectic, but I'm getting by, I currently have almost All a+'s and just one b+ so 3.8 gpa?

Yeah I'm trying for the honor roll in high school, I'm getting serious about this stuff.

And you guys should too.

I know sometimes it might seem pointless and you often think "When the hell am I ever going to use this in my future?"

Just remember, that boring is a choice, you can make subjects fun.

I mean, I used to have an F in math but now I have an A+ in math.

Just please, I cannot stress this enough, try your hardest in school, try to achieve the best that you can and most importantly keep to what you love most, and keep a good group of friends around you that will help you reach your goals, not hold you back from them.

I love you guys so much, and thanks for reading -Aliah