Alone With Ross

•46•

I stepped up each stair, cursing as they creaked beneath my feet. The house was still busy as everyone was getting ready to eat downstairs, but I didn't see Ross in his spot at the dinner table.

I tapped on our door slightly before opening it. As I walked in I saw that Ross was now on his bed holding a guitar.

"Woah. Where'd you get that?" I asked walking in and throwing my phone on my bed.

"There was this guy selling it online, it was only fifty bucks, so totally worth it." He smiled towards me then look back down at his guitar.

"I thought you were saving your money for those repairs on your car?" I asked.

Ross simply shrugged while plucking the strings. "Sometimes you just have to buy certain things to make life enjoyable, I can make fifty bucks up by cleaning out the gutters."

I nodded my head and we sat in silence, both aware of the conversation soon to follow.

"So you said nothing heavy right?" I almost jumped as Ross' voice broke the tense quiet bubble we were in.

"Yeah, it's just something that has been eating at me for awhile." I bit my lip looking towards him ad he gave me a reassuring smile while patting my thigh.

"I'm all ears babe."

I felt my heart thud at the word and I tried to focus on not blushing. I mean, I've never done cute pet names with Rider...

Unless if bitch counts...

Dammit Caspian, focus.

"Well," I looked off trying to think of how to go about the topic. "I've just been feeling guilty about my mom lately, a-and also the things I'm not telling you."

He looked at me confused and I just simply looked away from his gaze.

"I damned my own mother." I said quietly, hanging my head down. "I told her to go to hell and that she deserves to be all alone." I sniffed slightly and wiped under my eyes. "I was just so fucking heartless, a-and I wish I could just take it back."I buried my face in my hands.

I looked up at the sound of Ross sighing, awaiting his disapproval but all I got was him sucking the air through his teeth, making a 'tsk' noise.

"Well, now this is going to make what I have to tell you a lot worse." He stated and I looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?"I asked. Ross held his arms out towards me and I greatly accepted his comforting arms.

"Something came in the mail for you today from your mother." He began and I frowned. "I know what you're thinking, but she sent you her ashes." He said quietly.

"Why on earth would she do that?" Was the first thing I thought. And I shook my head in shock.

Ross just simply shrugged.

"Well, where is it?" I asked sitting up and Ross got up too and walked towards our closet, pulling out a box, he then walked back over to me and sat in on my lap before sitting across from me on my bed.

I opened the box carefully and was met with the sight of a sleek black urn.

I pulled it out feeling the light weight of it in my hands.

It's a strange feeling to know that your mother is now nothing more than a pile of dust. I mean, she had a heart, a soul, and feelings. And yet here she was right here in my arms.

I didn't even know I had begun crying until Ross pulled me into his arms again.

"Despite the fact that I hated her, this really fucking sucks." I laughed slightly but closed my eyes tighter.

"Here." Ross grabbed the urn from me and placed it back in its box and setting it aside. And he laid me down before cuddling into my side.

After I calmed down, me and Ross laid there in silence as I combed through his hair with my fingers while he traced circles over my stomach.

"I'm a terrible person Ross." I stated.

His movements stopped but continued after awhile.

"It's not your fault." He chose to say making me look away from him.

"I know it isn't." I snapped. "But what I said to her was uncalled for."

Ross sat up and shrugged. "I think it was, I mean you even said that you just had to get closure."

I stared at him while scoffing. "What's wrong with you?" I asked incredulously. "Be mad or something! Why on earth do you keep excusing what I say?"

Ross looked away from me and spoke quietly. "I love you. And I am always going to be on your side." He sighed.

"The way she just... tossed you aside really irks me and you should have never gone through any of that shit as a child. And that's still what you are, you're allowed to make mistakes and slip up because you now have the time to correct things," He bit his lip in concentration. "But you're mom ran out of time, she had her chance to come back to you but she never did, so I think what you said is completely justified."

How on earth could I get this lucky? After all of these past mishaps in my life, god really seemed to throw me a bone out of pity.

But god how thankful I was for Ross.

I shook my head, stunned at his words. Most of my guilt vanished but some remained at the sight of my mothers urn box at the end of my bed, but I ignored it as I got up and wrapped my arms around Ross' waist giving him a tight hug.

"Thank you, Ross." I whispered, feeling content as he hugged me back, rubbing up and down on my back.

We pulled apart after what seemed like hours and he gave me a quick peck, but it turned into a drawn out kiss as he molded his lips further onto mine making me smile.

But me and Ross separated again at the sound of my stomach growling making both of us erupt into laughter.

"How about we go downstairs and eat?" Ross asked as he kissed just below my jaw.

I grinned and stepped back holding my arms out. "Carry me."

Ross only smiled as he bent down and slung me over his back and we both continued to laugh as he took me down stairs.

And this part right here,

This was happiness.

••••••

FEELS

MY POOR LITTLE HEART.

It's funny how I write the story but I think I freak out as much as you guys do xD

Q: Favorite Rospian moment?

A: Mine was when Ross wrote that journal entry about her, and she said she changed like the seasons do.

Follow, vote, comment!

;

Aliah