Alone With Ross

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From a drunken night in Moscow, to a hangover in Japan I was left to view over my finances again after a night of obliterating my bank account, my bank had called to tell me that they locked my account.

So there I was confirming every purchase, nursing a headache and fighting off nausea.

"A collect phone call to Utah?"

My head pounded as I gasped. "Wait what?"

"It says that you paid for a long distance call to Utah."

"Oh, yeah... I have a friend there." I trailed off.

"Well that seems to be the last purchase, we'll have your account unlocked within the next fifteen minutes, enjoy your time in Japan."

"Oh my god you idiot." I leaned forward face planting in my bed letting out a groan. "I'm never drinking again."

What did I say? What did he say? I really need to apologize.

I looked towards my phone, dreading the conversation I was about to have, I even debated on texting him, but that would be too insincere.

It only rang a few times before he picked up.

"Caspian?"

I looked at the phone startled at his voice. "Uh hi?"

"Oh thank god, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just woke up after sleeping the day away." I fumbled with the lint on my shirt. "I got wasted last night and I'm regretting it more than ever."

"Where are you this time?" He seemed much calmer, well much calmer compared to the last time I talked to him, which was almost a year ago.

"Japan, last night I was in Russia, it was a when in Rome situation, and I've been to Rome, it wasn't as harrowing as this." I made him laugh and just the sound of that alone made getting shit-faced worth it.

"You scared me half to death, you know that right?" My heart thudded uncomfortably in my chest.

"What did I say?" I asked quietly, fearing his answer.

But he just asked me a question instead. "Caspian, I need you to be honest with me."

"Anything, just say it please."

"A-are you... suicidal?"

My blood drained from my face thinking of the thousands of things I could've possibly said to make him come to that conclusion.

"Last night," he continued. "You kept talking about chronic depression, going on tangents about religion, a-and then you told me you thought about... it."

Who hasn't? I almost wanted to ask. But that wouldn't ease his worry anymore, but the fact that I called him and told him that is making me question my own feelings right now.

"I mean, I always thought that traveling was a way to feel closer to your parents, but after you called me I couldn't help but think, t-that your running away."

Running away?

"You're running away from being alone."

I stopped breathing as I recalled saying something last night.

"I cried about you didn't I?" I asked quietly.

"That's not the point."

"No it is the point. Yes. I hate being alone, with every fiber of my being. Traveling keeps me busy and happy. Sometimes, like last night, traveling isn't as fun and I'm faced with the fact that I'm alone and in a foreign country." I rolled my eyes as a tear fell and I wiped it away in frustration. "I'm not suicidal."

"I know Cass, I was just worried." He sighed.

The shortened name made my eyes flutter closed. "Why did you answer the phone anyways? I thought you didn't want to hear from me anymore?"

"It was the first time you called me during the day."

I blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

"I called you during the day?"

"Yeah, you'd usually call just as I had gone to bed, 2am, 3am, 4am-"

"I get it."

"It just seemed off that you weren't disturbing any sleep of mine, you called around noon, and I was on a lunch break bored out of my mind." He chuckled.

"Well I'm sorry for calling, it won't happen again." I said quietly.

"You can call me if... you're not feeling well." He offered and I clenched my fist in frustration.

"I really shouldn't. I shouldn't have called you last night or right now as a matter of fact." I shook my head as it pounded.

"Look, I was just being an asshole last time, I was grumpy that you woke me up." He confessed making me roll my eyes. "So will you?"

"Will I, what?"

"Call me if you have bad thoughts?" He sounded upset, my greatest weakness.

"We're terrible at staying away from each other." I mused. "Alright, tell you what," I began. "I will call. And I'll be cautious of what time of day. As long as you just fill me in on your life, alright?"

"It will be as if we never left."

"You're so cheesy." I laughed, my stomach bubbling with giddiness. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, now, go to bed it's late in Japan." He teased.

"But it's early in the United States."

"Goodnight Cass."

Huffing and throwing a small fit I responded. "Oh whatever, goodnight Ross."

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CHARACTER Q&A

Q for Ross

Q for Cass

Q for anyone else

Q for me :)

Heh I can't believe I updated so soon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've been writing a lot lately idk

Love, Aliah