Alone With Ross

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This chapter is dedicated to my mother, because she was the first heartbreak that made me start writing in the first place.
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June 12, 2012

I just knew it.

I knew something was up the moment I heard the doorbell ring from downstairs.

And so here I stood, hidden behind the banister watching as Mama Vi silently reads a letter in the living room.

I see her hand go up to her mouth as she keeps reading and she shakes her head sadly.

"They're all just no good, every single one of them." She muttered. "How could they just constantly do this to their children?" She wiped at her eyes and placed her head in her hands.

"Please God, let every child in this house become incredibly wealthy and successful, to- to prove their parents wrong! And show their parents that no kid should be tossed aside!" She begged, and I leaned back a bit, feeling like and intrusion, until I heard my name called.

"I know it's you Caspian, come on down." She requested tiredly.

I plotted down the stairs and sat across from her in the smaller couch. She was still looking down at the table before breathing in very deeply.

"You mother is gone, Caspian." She sighed.

I waited to feel the impact from the news, but it didn't hit me, I felt no agony, strangely there was a strong since of pity... and guilt.

"And there's a letter she left for you... But I recommend that you don't read it." She said still wiping at the corner of her eye.

I sighed to and simply walked across and grabbed the letter off of the table and slowly walked back towards the stairs. I went into the room silently, being a little happy that Ross was away right now and I sat with the letter in my hands.

And I had to read it. I mean my last words to her were to rot in hell.

To my daughter, Caspian.

If you could have seen the things that I have seen during my travels, you wouldn't even question the reason why I never came back.

I've seen animals of all sorts up close and personal, including staring into the eyes of an orangutan.

I've hiked on some of the tallest mountain and saw the world from the greatest views, I have felt the Earth in my heart and I love every second of it.

And that's why I refuse to let you make me feel guilty. Because I experienced life.

Maybe one day you'll have kids of your own and you'll just see that one day you're going to just be a burden on their lives.

And it always seems as though you can't ever give them everything they want.

I wanted you and your sister to have the world! And I never once thought of the idea that it could mine as well.

Your father... he had no clue of my plans. He wanted to return home as soon as possible, but I never would have thought the outcome of our travels would go so south so fast.

I hated the damn hospitals, but I guess that's the price I pay for wanting to live my own damn life.

I have one more thing to tell you.

Your sister.

Her name is Traeh Davidson, and she lives in Texas with her adoptive parents, she is merely just four years older than you, but I had to give her up because I was young when I had her.