FALLING HEART

4

I stayed in the Church for a while ,finding the answers I desperately needed but there was nothing for me there.

I prayed for the strength I'll be needing.

I made my way out and ran to the sanctuary provided by my mother.I didn't stop not once to even take a breath.I just ran home , to Ma.

Ma opened the door before I had reached the first step.I stopped dead.She continued staring at me.I prayed that she doesn't see the trace of red that I had scrubbed from my face.

"You did it , didn't you..?" She finally asked.

No strength of even uttering a single word was left in me.I just nodded my head not being able to return her gaze.

"Why..?" She uttered after a long silence.

"I had to Ma.I had to." I whispered.

"Was that the right thing..Zairi..?"

No I didn't know if it was the right thing.I just knew it had to be done if I wanted everything to right itself.

"I don't know Ma." I whispered miserably.

"What does your heart tell you..?"

I felt it in my soul .

"I'll do it again and again if it meant his happiness." I said staring squarely in her eyes.

Ma smiled then. "Then you have nothing to fear Zairi.Your heart took the decision.Your soul agrees with it.Then it is the most right decision."

"He hates me now and will do so forever,Ma . He'll never accept me , much less love me." The pain was still there .But years of practice had made me a master in caging it in.Locking it , hiding it in the depths of my heart to never come out.I numbed it there. Not letting my Ma see it.

"My daughter is the most selfless person in this world.You'll continue giving even when you'll have nothing left of yourself.Being your mother I know this.And the Holy Mother knows it.So the one time my Zairi askes for something , I am sure even Mother Nature is not that cruel to deny you . Have faith ,my darling. If Zairi and Aeran are meant for each other , then he'll realize it sooner or later just like you have."

I couldn't help but let a small smile slip at the hope my Ma showed me.Yes if we are meant for each other he'll realize it.He'll love me the same way I love him. I have to keep on living with this hope still fluttering in my heart.

In no time I was in my ma's arms hugging her tightly.

"Thank you Ma.I love you so much.I don't know what I'll do without you in my world." My voice was muffled in her hair.

"I love my Zairi the most too.Even though she never lets me cook." She said letting me go and pouting .I laughed forgetting everything.

"Now that's what I've been waiting for so long." Her eyes became teary but she wiped them .I couldn't help loving her more.

She looked me up and down."Now lets get the pretty bride inside.We have to celebrate.So what if I missed your wedding ceremony and if the people here are going to burn in the hot cauldron."I looked at her wide eyed."What..?I am allowed to curse them.Forget them now.We both could still celebrate among ourselves can't we..?Its a big day for my daughter." She then ushered me inside and we had a big celebration just like Ma promised.

So what if the groom was missing? so what if the people weren't happy.? So what if my biggest dream turned to my worst nightmare.?

I was somewhat happy because my Ma was with me and I knew by her on my side I'll conquer anything.

May it be my husband's heart.

I have hope.