FALLING HEART

67

I slammed the door and slid down to the ground.I closed my eyes and let my head fall back to the door.The churning inside quieted down.The darkness fading away.Albeit very slowly.

I would have killed him.I would have killed someone.

  Oh Holy Mother.  

If he hadn't stopped me,I would have someone's blood on my hands.I looked down at the same trembling hands.

The intent to go out and complete the same task was nagging inside.I couldn't.

I JUST CANNOT.

What if he hadn't come on time.It was only Ma's name that brought me near from that far edge I was heading towards.Today I would have committed the biggest sin of Life.Betraying everything that Ma taught.I would have crushed her very essence from my soul.Would I have been able to live then..?

Yesss.

Something dark whispered from inside.

NO.NO.NO.

This is not who I am.This is not someone worthy of being called Ma's daughter.What would Ma think indeed..?

I wiped the few tears still remaining on my face and forced the darkness down.I cannot let it win.It struggled and fought right back but still I managed to tame it down.

You don't own me.

I own you.

With that I gave the last push and at last it stayed down,not coming back up again.

I have to learn about this power as soon as I could or it'll take me away from my own being.This thing inside is more vicious than I thought.

I have to be more careful.

I got up and walked down to the fireplace and sat down.

I felt something under my hand and looked down at it.The rose.

I picked it up and stared at it.

The flower had lost it's shine.The petals withering and turning brown.The long green stalked had no thorns on it.It was as smooth as it could be.Did he remove them himself.?

Didn't the thorns prick his fingers..?Then why..?Why does he keep on doing these things.?

What does he plan to gain from this.?

I have nothing to give him anymore.Why can't he understand it.?And leave me alone.

My spine straightened as I heard him.He came inside and as usual stood there and looked at me.

I threw the rose in the fire in front of his eyes.Let this give him a clear message.

I didn't let my eyes wander to him.

I could feel the intensity of his gaze on me.Those eyes bored into my back and still I didn't turn around.Sighing at last he took the few steps to the same spot he occupied and laid down,closing his eyes.

Minutes passed into an hour.We stayed that way.And still I didn't move from my place.After feeling safe enough I gathered enough courage and turned to take a peek at him.

 I couldn't tamper my curiosity and crawled over near him . I looked down at his peaceful face.He was breathing deep.His eyes closed.He was deep asleep.

He was beautiful.

It appeared he could still mesmerize me as he did before.

His chest kept rising and falling slowly.His eyelashes fanned over his cheeks.His skin so smooth and soft.His lips so red.I wanted to touch them.I wanted to touch him to know if his skin was as smooth as it appeared.

Without even realizing I was moving.I lifted a finger to touch him,to know how he feels.

Halfway there some sort of sanity returned and I stopped suddenly.What was I doing..?

I pushed away from him.and crawled back to my place.

No.

I laid down facing away from him and pressed my eyes closed tightly.

I cannot let it happen again.

............................

His eyes opened instantly and he looked over at her huddled figure.The question clear in them,why did she stop..?

His eyes followed  the rose which lay on the ground near the fireplace.A slow smile curved those lips.So she does notice them,huh.?

Author's Note- I am sorry for the late updates.I have been busy these past few weeks.Please bear with me.I want to thank you for all your reads and votes.Although I don't say it as often but I do feel thankful for your support and try to give it back by updating as many chapters as I can as frequently. 

;D