FALLING HEART

75

It had been a while since I had stopped here. I couldn't find the courage to take a single step more towards the one place where I lost my everything.

The building was no more there.It was lost somewhere in the destruction that had wrought-ed this place not that long ago.Although the place was cleared of the rubble,it still looked the same to me.There were no signs of development.The site was empty leaving only the two walls that had once supported the big structure..The black soot was still stuck to the walls.

This was the only place I wanted to come to when I woke up this morning.I didn't know why but I had this sudden urge to cry my eyes out.It hurt inside.So much.

I gathered all my courage and took the few steps forward.

Instantly my eyes fell to the spot on the ground where I had found my Ma.I walked to it.And sat down on the same spot I had once occupied.My eyes misted with red and everything lost meaning.Love.Revenge.Anger.

What did it matter anymore..?

She won't come back..?Ever..?What was point of all this then..?

I continued gazing at the ground.No answer came.Just like always Ma.

I have been here for weeks but I was not any closer in finding the truth behind your death than I was before.Or may be I was too busy in exacting my revenge that I didn't bother to try hard enough.

That thought pricked my conscience like nothing else.Because it was the truth.I had turned selfish.I was changing into something I was not.

It wasn't for Ma.It was all for me ...to vent out all the pain and humiliation I felt at their hands.Everything I had done till yet...It wasn't for you Ma.

"It was all for ME."I shouted at the ground.The wind that was picking up.the walls covered in soot.They all looked at me accusingly.

The red diluted over my eyes and I couldn't control the unexpected anger.."YES IT WAS ALL FOR ME ,MA.EVERYTHING WAS FOR ME.BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME ALONE HERE.YOU ARE THE SELFISH ONE ,MA."

You are the selfish one.

"Why did you have to go..?What did you hide from me..?TELL ME..?!!Answer me, Ma..?"

 I was led back into the same abyss I was trying to run from.The darkness that had engulfed me once ,came back with a force.All the anger and rage exploded making me shiver.Making me blind to everything but the pain I have felt.Nothing mattered anymore and the red started misting around and covering the whole place.I couldn't control it any longer and the tendrils started flowing out.Ready once again to destroy.

The tears I was trying hard to keep at bay finally leaked out my eyes and fell to the ground coloring it red.

I covered my face with my hands and cried for all that was forever lost for me.

It was then the wind picked up speed and ruffled my hair.I jerked up instantly feeling her touch .Her presence surrounding me.A faint shadow hovering over me.

"Ma." I whispered sitting still ,fearing that she'll be lost again if I dare make any movement.

You promised you won't ever cry.Silly child.Everything is right in front of your eyes.So wipe away these tears and that anger to see clearly.

The  gentle wisp of air diminished as suddenly as it had come.And I sat there bewildered. Not really able to distinguish the dream from reality.I wiped my face.

A glint in my eyes had me covering them .The sun rays reflected on something .Was that a  sign from Ma.? I got up hurriedly to inspect it.Just near the wall,under some stones was a part of a pearl shining back the light from the sun.I  removed the few stones and touched the part that was visible.It was buried in the ground.I used my hands to dig it up as much as I could.

A pearl brooch.I picked it up and looked at it closely.

A light blue sheen covered the brooch.A beautiful thing to keep .With intricate flowers integrating and twirling with each other.I turned it but no engravings were marked on it.

One thing was puzzling .It was in perfect condition.No scratch or dirt marred it's beauty despite it being buried in ground.For how long was it in there.??

Could it be possible..??Was it somehow related to the culprit I was searching for.?

A sudden smile blossomed on my face.I looked up at the sky.

A sign.

Thank you Ma .

I got up and stumbled as my feet caught on a stone.I was about to fall when a hand stopped me.I looked at him.

He smiled slowly.As instantly I was flying up in the air and into his arms.He winked at me. "I'll always be there to catch you,my Zairiya." He secured me in his arms and bringing his face near to mine, nuzzled my cheek with his nose."Ah..I missed you."

I caught my bearing and hid the brooch in my hands.My eyes narrowed as he started walking towards the main house."What are  you..??Let me down this instant." I struggled to get free but his hold tightened further making me the prisoner in his arms.

"Huh..what..?Did you say something..?" He taunted when my efforts proved futile.

A sigh escaped my lips after a while.It was never a good idea to waste my efforts with him.Just let him do whatever he wants.

"That's my good girl.Now,how was your day..?"

I cannot be bothered with him now.I had something to go on with now.The brooch .I have to find it's owner.Ma has showed me a path.I have to follow.If only it will be that easy...

"Ouch". I yelped as a sharp pain hit my ear.He had bit me.

I looked at him surprised and shocked to the core of my being.He actually bit me.

"That'll remind you to never  ignore me again."He laughed at the horrified expression that must have taken over my face.His whole body vibrated with his laugh and in turn I felt the tremors.

"You...did you just..?" I stumbled over at my words.

"Yup I just did.Bit you, that is.And I'll do more if you ever ignore me again." He placed a light kiss on the ear he bit.My heart ran like crazy.

 I didn't knew how to handle this new Alpha who was intent on making me notice his presence ,no matter how I felt or what I thought about it.

"Okay let me start then.It was fucking hot today.Even then Alpha Marcus had me cover the borders myself.Then,there was that everyday cruel training I have to endure...actually I enjoy it as much as it pains me to admit....don't tell Narco about it though or he'll have me practice fucking all day long....then the Initiation ceremony preparations......"

His voice soothed me.This sense of normalcy.I accepted it. I placed my head on his shoulder,relaxing into his touch, letting him ramble about his day as he carried me in the evening sun.Taking it all in.His broad shoulders.His long strides.His calming voice.His vibrating chest.The way he kept on nuzzling me at odd intervals as he talked.Placing a kiss here or there.I let it all into the place in my heart I had always hidden.

This normalcy of everything.Why couldn't it happen before..?

Why didn't you ,Aeran? Why didn't you try?

This is what I always wanted.?

Why didn't it feel complete then..?