FALLING HEART

71

I walked down the stairs and headed straight for the dining hall where they waited.

Elder Kurona had especially called me in for this dinner event today.Alpha's Initiation Ceremony was just  days away.I knew what Elder Kurona wanted from me.

Oh she'll get it today, alright.

Much to my annoyance their gaze filtered over to me as I entered.It was always the same.That hint of fear clinging in the air yet again.

I titled my head to side and bowed mockingly, staring straight into Elder Kurona's eyes.Her pain filled eyes stayed with me until I took my seat.

The stilted silence and tension in the room felt suffocating.

"I am glad you came today ,Zairi." It still bothered me.

"It's Zairiya" I added venomously.Her face contorted into pain.But still she continued"Oh yes,I apologize. Zairiya.I am happy to see you here."

I  hated it.The way Elder Kurona still thought she had any right of claim over my emotions.It stabbed my heart every time, I saw her clear gaze with empathy and love for me.I didn't want it, couldn't she understand it.That part of me died with my Ma.Nothing was left now.What was she expecting.?

"Of course Elder Kurona how could I miss it.?Your wishes were pretty clear..?" I relaxed back into the chair and raised a taunting brow at her."Or should I say orders..?"

She sighed heavily.May be trying to adjust to my hostility.

"I have never had any intentions to order you around Zairiya. I just wanted you to have this dinner with us a part of a family and be  part of the discussion."

I scoffed and harrumphed.Already looking towards the tray Aiinata was carrying for me.Disrespecting the oldest Elder of the family,showing them just how little it all meant to me.Food was more interesting than this same boring talk of "Family" that Elder Kurona insisted I comply with. Hah.!

"So as I was trying to tell you.We have Alpha's Initiation Ceremony in a  few days.I know the same event brought you irreparable loss but I still ask you to forget and.."

"Forget it.?!!" I stood up jarring the table.Placing my hands on the table I glared at her with all the animosity brewing inside me.

"Forget how you ruined my life.Forget how you killed my Ma.And then what..?Am I supposed to forgive you .?"My voice had dipped low.I could feel the darkness rising and I let it roam freely this time.Let them taste it.The darkness they gave.

"I know what was done was horrible and appalling .Yes, I take responsibility for everything that we did.So if you want to take revenge,punish me,take your anger out on me.But please don't ruin your life over this.Your Ma wouldn't want this for you.Don't you see this.?"

The blood pumped faster in my veins.My insides coiling for another fight.The tension outside started reciprocating with my insides and I burned to let it all out.

"Listen to me child,for the old time's sake. This anger that you store inside is making you wilt from inside.It's rotting your pureness.Let it out child.Don't bear your sadness inside by yourself.If your Ma was here she would have wanted that for you.Why don't you understand? I just want the best for you even if it means I have to hold your grudge against me my whole life.Please let me see the hurt you carry inside.Let me be your shoulder.You always have been the grand daughter, I lost. I never once considered you an outsider.Not just because of Aeran. It's because of Trina and Celine. Please let me in child.Let me repay for the mistake I made by bringing you here."

Several gasps sounded round the table but my eyes didn't stray away from the fragile old woman crying helplessly in front of me.She seemed so small and vulnerable at the moment.