The Married Man | joshler

[forty four]

the feeling of heat intensifying, running through my left cheek; a stinging sensation following the heat. watching as jenna pulls her hand back down to her side where it rested. she immediately looked at me with a sorrowful look. "i don't need your pity, because i deserved it. that's prolly not the best way to tell the person you're married to, that you're cheating."

"who is it? who's been the one that you've been with for almost a year?" she closes her eyes; i look between her and my mother and back to her. "josh." her eyes snap open and her eyebrows furrow. "josh. josh as in your assistant, josh?"

"my former assistant, yes."

"that motherfucker."

"hey, no need to be insulting now."

"you can't be serious? i find out that the guy that i thought of as a friend has been getting fucked by my husband for months now, i think i deserve to be as insulting to him as he's been to me."

i look at her and tilt my head to the side and nod, seems fair. "you know i should have known. you not wanting to get intimate with me anymore, leaving for long periods of time, just everything. but there's only one thing i don't understand, why'd you get me pregnant if you don't see a future with me anymore?"

"i never meant to get you pregnant. do i love that i'm going to have a children? yes; do i love that their parents won't be together? no. i was going to tell you the day you told me you were pregnant. it's just that you were so happy that i didn't want to ruin it for you."

"were you ever at least planning on tell me?"

"after you gave birth. i just wanted to at least have a chance to see the children before they were one from me forever after i told you. i didn't even think this affair would go on long anyways. josh and i fought. the first time i let him go i didn't talk to him for months, then i met up with him accidentally in a bar after i found out you were having twins. then it started up again. i never meant to hurt you, i'm so sorry jenna."

i sit down and put my head in my hands. jenna sits next to me and rubs circles on my back. "honestly, i feel that this marriage has been falling apart for a while now. we've been married a couple years now, it didn't seem like it at first, but soon that curtain came down and everything was set in place."

"so you're not mad?"

"at first i was yes, but i can tell that you love him. we clearly weren't each others rightful lovers. you've found yours, and i'll find mine sometime. now get josh here so you can tell him how much you love him in person."