The Married Man | joshler

[fifty seven]

"you didn't have to do any of this you know." i told tyler while we were walking through the beach "of course i did, i love you." 

"i love you too tyler."

"you don't understand josh, i really love you. marry me." i shot up almost falling out of the bed when he woke up from the dream. tyler groaned and woke up, "are you okay? what happened?" he got up and came back with a glass of water.

"i'm fine, j-just had a bad dream that's it." i lie through my teeth to him. ever since we went to the scioto mile i've been having these dreams where tyler proposes to me and then our whole life flashes before our lives, but those lives we lived in them were terrible, gruesome lives.

everyday i have the fear that tyler will propose and our loves would end up total nightmares. i want to tell tyler but i know he'll start to worry. besides, i don't think that, that's anywhere on any of our minds. we've only been together for a little over a year, most people don't get married after this long, right?

"what're you thinking about?" tyler placed his head on my shoulder and kissed my neck. "nothing, it's nothing. let's go back to sleep."

***

"you can't be afraid of that forever josh."

"who says he'll be afraid of it forever, i was afraid of it at first, but now i'm not." ryan told brendon. "ryan you used to have that fear?" i ask ryan. "yeah, almost every single day for a month."

"how did you overcome it?"

"i just allowed myself to come to the thought of mostly everybody gets married and when they do, it's typically the person they love more than anything. and i knew that when brendon proposed to me, i had absolutely nothing to worry about at all." he looked at me and spoke again, "you love him right?"

i nodded and he continued, "and he loves you back?" i nod again and look at him. "so what's the problem?"

"we've only been together for a little over a year, that's what scares me. i love him more than anything but we've only been together for a little over a year." ryan reached over and grabbed my hand.

"if you two really love each other, than at the time if and when he proposes, this fear will seem to disappear and it'll be like if you were never afraid. love can help you, but it can also hurt you. if you allow it to hurt you, you'll never feel as if you can get married."

"thank you ryan, i think that helped me."

***

"tyler what did yo-" i stop halfway through his office when i see candles and roses on the desk. the door closes and tyler is standing right there. he come closer to me and we're almost inches apart.

"i know this may be all of a sudden but i couldn't wait any longer." i continue staring at him not really believing what's happening right now.

"this is where we first met, you were just the guy who wanted a job and i was just the married billionaire who had fired over a handful of assistants simply because i couldn't stand them for anything. i didn't think much of you, just that you looked like a punk kid; but little did i know that i was going to fall for you. we went through hell and back just to get to where we are now, and i'm not ready to let this simply fade away, because i love you more than anything, even myself." he paused and started to move.

my breath hitched when he dropped down on one knee. "joshua william dun, will you marry me?"

a tear slips from my eye and i look at him, "yes, yes i will marry you." i let my tears fall and tyler put the ring on my finger and i pulled him into a kiss that lasted for ages. "i love you."

"i love you too."

your bitch is going to see panic! at the disco, fall out boy, and twenty one pilots friday and saturday at the March Madness Music Festival for free. glad to live in houston right now.