The Married Man | joshler

[fifty two]

the doctor comes out and stops and looks at me and motions for me to come over to him. "is, is he okay?"

"he'll be fine, his heart rate went down due to the blood loss. we believed there was a small chance while trying to get his heart rate back up, he could have gone into a comatose state. it seems while operating he seemed to have gotten better so we might be able to release him in a couple of days. you can see him now."

i thank him and walk into the room and see him again laying as he was before, no movement. the closer i got, the more nervous i became. finally i reached the bed and pulled up a chair and sat down while still looking at his unconscious body.

i grab his hand and hold it. "i deeply regret not being up this morning when you left. everyone morning i'm awake when you leave, every morning i spend with you. but today, today things went out of order. i woke up after you left, and i blame myself for what has happened to you. and now there's a chance you might not remember, you could lose all the memories that we made."

i stop and place both hands on his. "when we first met, i was just a guy looking for a job, i had no experience in an office, but you still hired me as your assistant. then there was the day when dustin came onto me and you stopped him and fired him; that was the day that i knew exactly that i was in love with you. and i tried, i really did to keep it a secret. not to ruin your marriage; but your marriage had been falling apart already." i stop once more and begin again.

"then couple of weeks later, we kissed for the first time; it was wrong, but it felt so right. everything was coming into place, but you were still married. i didn't want to do anything but kissing in case this didn't work out. you could have gone back to jenna, and possibly still be together. who knows, maybe if you were with her right now, you wouldn't be here in this hospital bed. but all things happen for a reason." i stop once more and wipe away the tear that was threatening to fall.

"then weeks after, you fired me because of reasons, and your dad. i believed you were doing it out of anger. then i found you again at a bar, and i was merry, and you were just pure drunk. at my apartment i remember you tried flirting with me as you didn't know who i was, and i loved every minute of it, and i never told you that. when you told me you were leaving i was devastated, i just got you back and you were going to be gone again. then you told me you were sorry and you loved me and i finally was going to be truthful with you and tell you i loved you too, so i did. and i remember every minute of it. from the first time we had made love til now." tears are streaming from my eyes by now.

"god i hope you remember all of this, every moment. the birth of you children everything, i hope you remember your children most of all." just as i'm about to pull my hands from his, i feel his fingers interlock with one of my hands.

"tyler if you can hear me, please fight through this. you once told me you'd go insane without me, god knows that i'd do the same."