Red vs Blue Oneshots

felix x reader

requested by CaitlynSterk hope I fulfilled your dreams! XD enjoy!

(takes place after war on chorus)

reader: feminine

"Felix!" You dropped your groceries on the counter, hollering for your husband, "I'm home!" After there was no response, you started to get suspicious. Was he taking a nap? His car is still here... Your mind was blank once you called again, getting no reply. Maybe he's in the baby's room...

You were 6 months pregnant, and Felix was more than ecstatic about having a little him running around. So, it made sense for him to be in the nursery, right? And when you heard scuffling from inside the door, you knew your suspicions were correct.

"Babe?" You knocked, not waiting for an answer as you slowly opened the door. What you saw made you want to vomit. There he was. Your insanely hot lover standing in the middle of your future son/daughter's room... with a paintbrush. And what did you see when you looked at the walls?

ORANGE.

"Felix!" You gasped, slowly spinning in a circle as you examined the room. It was horrid! The bright color shone even brighter from the sunlight beaming into the small chamber. You wanted to gag. It was the ugliest thing you've ever seen.

"Yes, sweetness?" He cheerfully chirped, placing the roller brush into the paint can. "What have you done?" You were breathless, your eyes not able to leave the nightmare you saw on the walls. "I painted!" He cheered, throwing his hands in the air as he held his head up high. He didn't seem to notice you were about to puke.

The merc crossed his arms, smirking as he nodded at his work, "I started thinking, ya know, what kid wouldn't want a room painted the best color ever?! So, while you were out shopping, I went and bought some paint! Isn't it freaking awesome?!"

A certain rage boiled up inside of you as you continued to gaze at the walls, the color burning through your pupils the longer you kept your eyes open. "Felix, you can't paint little McScouty's room orange!" You spun around to face him, your hands motioning to the walls as you complained. Your husband's hands balled up into fists as he glared at you, "It's blood orange."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "I don't care if it's period blood orange, get this crap off my walls!" Felix was taken aback, and he dramatically placed a hand on his chest as if you shot him in the heart, "Your walls?! (Y/n), this is their walls!"

He pointed to your stomach, which has already formed a pretty big bump by now, but you turned around as if it was a game of keep away. "Well, they are going to hate it!" You stuck your tongue out, and Felix gasped. "How dare you assume that Fuckington the Third is gonna hate the color orange?!"

"Anyone would hate this!" You hissed, sighing once Felix dropped his head disappointedly. Sympathy spread across your heart as you took a step forward, taking his hands in yours, "Felix, we agreed that the nursery would be a light gray! Then we can decorate it with whatever secondary color we want!"

The merc's head perked up, a slight smile spreading across his snake pierced lip, "Even orange?" You beamed a smile at him, nodding as you quickly kissed him, "Yes, even blood orange." He pumped his fists in the air as a victory, yelling YES as he laughed manically. You couldn't help but giggle at his childishness.

After you convinced Felix to run to the store for some light gray paint and pretzels, (you were in the mood for something salty) you started to walk out of the horrifying nursery. But before you shut the door, something popped up in your mind. Your brow furrowed as your head whipped around to look at your husband one more time, "Felix?"