Fix Me

Chapter 26 : Earning Trust

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~J.D

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**Avery's POV**

         We were still sat on the floor on pillows and cushions and I was still on top of Harry's lap. I had tried getting off multiple times, but he just pulled me back. Hesitantly, I brought my arms back up to his neck and wrapped them around; allowing my elbows to rest on his chest. I sighed deeply in content. Being here with him felt so right, but in the back of my mind; I knew it wasn't. He hurt me so badly throughout the years, and I couldn't just forgive him without any consequences, and he needs to know that.

"Harry," I sighed. "I can't forgive you that easily. You really hurt me through the past years." He shook his head.

"I don't want your forgiveness," he said bluntly. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked away. He noticed my expression and chuckled lightly.

"I mean, of course I want your forgiveness." He said. "But I want to fix you first," He continued. I pursed my lips.

"Then I'll ask for your forgiveness," he said.

"But, why?" I whispered. "Why do you wanna fix me?"  He parted his lips only slightly, and sighed.

"I don't want you to end up like Gemma," he said so softly, I almost didn't even catch it. I looked at him oddly, but he continued.

"Avery," he breathed shakily. "I'd never be able to live with myself if you tried to...Tried to kill yourself," he said whispering the last bit. I just nodded in response; Not trusting my own voice at the moment.

We stayed in a comfortable silence for a bit longer, until he spoke up again.

"Have you ever thought about it?" He asked softly. I bit my lip nervously, knowing what he meant by 'it'.

"No," I lied.

           I had thought about ending my life before. When I just thought it was too much, I would break down in my bedroom and just kept telling myself I wasn't good enough, or no one would miss me. That was probably the stupidest thought ever, as I knew for a solid fact that  Andrea and Zoe would miss me. It would've been the most selfish thing I could do if I killed myself. The girls would probably hate me for it.

Harry eyed me suspiciously.

"Your lying," he sighed. I frowned at him.

"How do you know?" I accused.

"When you lie or get nervous, you bite your lip," he replied automatically. I was a bit---No, a lot surprised that Harry had noticed that about me. I've never had someone be so observant of me.

"Please don't," he whispered, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. I let out an inaudible gasp, as I felt his hot breath fanning over my sweet spot.

"Don't ever think about killing yourself, okay?" He said as he removed his face and looked into my eyes. His eyes held sadness, pain and regret.

I still couldn't over the fact of how open Harry was about telling me about his sister. He had always walked around the school as if he were a God and everything about him was perfect. Not a flaw, or care in the world. Then again, looks can be deceiving.

"Your worth so much Avery," He said, playing with the hem of my---His shirt. I smiled shyly at his words and looked away. I heard him sigh softly.