Fix Me

Chapter 40 : First Time For Everything

 

 

 

 

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**Avery's POV**

            I watched intently as the water trickled from my shoulders, down to my arms - eventually making their way by plopping off my elbows and into the bathtub full of water and foamy bubbles. I let out a deep sigh, inhaling all of the scented Jasmine scented candles around me. I swayed my arms around gently, watching as the bubbles moved swiftly along with me. My music played softly in the background and that was the only thing I could bring my ears to hear, other than the sloshing sound of water.

             For the first time in a few months, I felt at peace. I had been so stressed lately with my projects and exams but most of all, because of Harry. I almost feel like what happened today was my fault. I feel like I wasn't doing my part in our relationship. We always do what  I wanna do. What I want. Obviously that wasn't an excuse for him to hurt me, but I bet Harry has just gotten completely fed up and he's dealt with me for the past six months. I haven't been taking any of his feelings into consideration and was only thinking about myself and my stupid little insecurities. Harry's was right.

I am a bitch.

            But, then again; he doesn't talk to me. He doesn't open up. He has this wall built up around him, much similar to the one I had months ago.

            I guess I can kind of see where he's coming from about closing people out, since that's what I did. For years even. But, I am his girlfriend. It hurts to know that he thinks he can't come to me if he feels upset or anxious about something. And I feel like an even shitter girlfriend at the fact that I don't ask him if he's okay enough.

             I mean, I don't want him to see me as a clingy, annoying girlfriend, because that's the last thing I want. I just him to know that he can trust me with anything and everything. I want to feel like he can open up to me the way I opened up to him. I wanna see that guy who wasn't afraid or embarrassed to cry in front of me. I wanted my old Harry back. Why?

Because I was in love with him.

I'm in love with him.

I am in love with Harry Styles. I have been all along. I just hadn't realized it, until our school trip to London we had two months ago.

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**Two months before**