Just Destiny Playing || One-Shots

Hands [ jelsa ]

Short description: (Jack & Elsa)

Just a short letter.

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Dear Elsa,

Do you still remember the day we first met? That time when I accidentally touched your hand? I even made a joke about how cold it was. I asked if you we're magical and had connections with ice or something, I even called you Snow Queen that time. You answered, "No. I need blood." I didn't get what you meant at first but then I finally knew what you were trying to say when I was told you had anemia.

I thought before your pale skin was natural, like mine. I didn't think you were lacking blood. I even assumed you just liked vampires and put make-up to look like them. I know, I'm unbelievable. I never actually pay attention on those stuffs anyway.

I heard you cut yourself all the time; the main reason you lose blood. I knew immediately you were having problems. And maybe that was the reason you kept your distance from others. I was the guy who talked to you most. The guy who hangs out with you most. And probably the only guy who dared to get close as I can get to you. The only guy who holds your hand most. It was nice.

You know what was even nicer? When you we're slowly recovering the blood you needed. And every time I would hold your hand it was warmer. It's still a bit cold but it was definitely warmer in comparison than the first time I held your hand. Your cheeks were rosy, and I now know what your normal complexion is (definitely not vampirish pale). I still called you Snow Queen though. Remember that? Because your attitude, your mood, the way you talk to people was just cold. You talk rarely and half of the time you talk to someone is filled with sass.

I could finally go sleep peacefully at night because I know you're alright. I didn't have to worry. It's funny, cause when your hands got warmer your attitude did too. When you talk to people it's only one-fourths sass.

But then suddenly you started to get distant again. I wouldn't have notice it because you we're good at covering. Honestly it wasn't really a big deal when it was just reverting back to your sassy self. I got yused to that already anyway. But the odd thing was even when you we're your sassy self you still let me hold your hand. This time you didn't let me.

I knew something was up. You only do that when you were having problems. I asked you more than a thousand times about what it was. You said it was nothing.

Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say your parents divorced? Why didn't you tell me you're moving?

Why didn't you tell me you started cutting again?

You went too far Elsa. I was there. At your hospital room. They said you lost too much blood this time.

That's why you didn't want me to hold your hand. Cause you know I'd know the difference. I'd know what you've been up to. I'd know how to make you stop even though you don't want to.

You know it was best for you. You know I wouldn't stop till you got better. You know that. Why didn't you let me then?

Your hands we're cold. Like that time when your hands were cold because you were nervous. I literally panicked because I thought you cut yourself again that time. But this time you really did. Your hands were cold not out of nervousness, not of fear but the same reason from before. I held your hands tightly. Mine was starting to get cold too, out of nervousness and fear.

I thought I was gonna lose you because of what you did. But I didn't. I lost you in an unexpected way. It wasn't because you had to move. It was because you didn't make it to your destination.

Once again you were in the hospital. I couldn't get in, they said only relatives could enter. I hated seeing you like that. I wanted to get near you but I couldn't. I could only see you through a clear glass. That was the time I wished we were related.

You would've survived. You could've. You should've. There were many things I wanted to show you, many things I wanted to say. Like how I felt about you Elsa. Maybe you've already noticed and maybe other people already told you that but I wanted to tell it myself. I wanted to tell you my confession. I love you Elsa. So much. But I can't tell you that now. Well, I can but you wont hear. Probably.

The last time I saw you there was a white sheet covering you. My first instinct was to run over you and hold your hands, like what I always do. You know what I noticed?

They were ice cold.

Not nervous cold. Not scared cold. Not lacking blood cold either. Your heart wasn't pumping anymore. I was too late.

I would've been able to tell you. I could've. I should've.

This letter is meant for you. I was supposed give it to you last month. Before the day you left. But I didn't make it. Then that happened.

But even though you aren't here anymore I will never forget you. Our memories will always stay. I can't promise forever but I will keep remembering as long as I can.

Truly yours,
Jack