A Beautiful Lie || Jikook

c u a r e n t a i u n o

WOWOWOW Chapter 41!
Double update 💕💕💕

**Jungkook's POV**

Why isn't he answering me?

The call goes straight to voicemail for the 100th time today. If he's fucking Hoseok, he should at least tell me, right? I groan in frustration, letting my physical exhaustion overtake me. "Honey, get out of your room! It's a nice day outside so stop wallowing!" My mom heard me crying last night and even though I didn't say anything, she was fine with that. She just said to 'let it all out now and move on'.

"Fine!" My eyes hurt from looking at the same screen anyways. I get dressed in a dark outfit, not feeling very energetic today. "I'm going to walk!" I shout, jumping down the stairs.

"Keep your phone on you and call if you need anything, my phone is right-"

"Yeah yeah." I close the front door behind me, walking out into the fresh air. Winter was coming soon, you could tell by the difference in nature. It was more than it being cold outside, it was the fact that everything seemed to be dying. The trees looked like they had given up on their will to live, the birds stopped chirping happily and the bugs have all seemed to disappear to only God knows where. It definitely didn't help my mood.

There was a path that my family walked on that was right behind my house. It went deep into the woods and crossed the trees behind every other house in the neighborhood. Everyone in our neighborhood walked the path frequently in warmer climates which is one of the reasons why we're a close community.

I didn't mind that I was the only one walking today, no one liked the cold. But today I needed it. The crisp air kept my feelings at bay, my body felt numb instead of sadness. I might have even said that I liked to feel numb if it weren't for the fact that I knew there were better emotions to feel. I missed feeling happy, I missed being friends with Jimin and Hoseok and everyone else I used to hang out with. Soccer got in the way of going out with most of them but I didn't--couldn't-- stop seeing Jimin. Looking back now, I was a fool for thinking I could only see Jimin as a friend. It only took him to break my heart to realize it.

The stones on the path became more rigid, indicating the depth of the forest. A quiet lake was surrounded by the path, tranquil in itself. The frogs and toads that croaked in the daytime were probably hibernating and the birds gone south in search of heat. I would have felt uneasy by how quiet it was but it had the opposite effect. My mind was clear of doubts for the first time in a while.

I miss Jimin.

His button nose. His small hands that he brought up to his cheeks to hide his embarrassment. His real smile, the rare one, that made his eyes completely disappear when he fully showed both rows of pearly white teeth. His thick thighs that once wrapped around my waist confusing me, starting a chain reaction that I don't regret. Not for a second. I miss his laugh and his jokes and his hugs. I miss everything about him and how he made me feel.

I used to feel so happy around him, treating him like a little brother. Ew. I can't believe I thought of him that way, I even said it out loud! I think back to all the mistakes I've made to him, even calling him princess by accident. He probably hated it when I called him that. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. He kept staying by my side even when I did all those things. He's perfect. He did this one thing, even though it was a big thing, it was once and I didn't stand by him. I rejected him, throwing his feelings on the ground and stepping on it.

I feel like shit.

The silent forest came alive again as there was something coming around the giant lake on the other side. A small figure was on a bicycle, causing the broken leaves and twigs on the ground to break and crumble as he passed. When he races around the bend, his figure gets closer and I finally recognize who it is.

My body switches to automatic, choosing to hide behind the bush near the lake. I crouch low, hearing him come closer. But his bike rolls to a stop near me. Oh shit he caught me, he caught me, he caught me. "Jungkook?" My eyes were squeezed shut so I open them to see he's crouched on the side of the bank, picking up some stones. I freak out, slipping and landing my foot in the freezing water.

"Oh shit." I curse, the water seeps into my shoes and I pull out, stepping back onto the path. "H-Hi Jimin." Every step I took made a squeaky sound, this situation getting more and more embarrassing. He stands up and rummages through the basket on the front of his bike.

"Here." He said quietly, avoiding eye contact. He hands me a light pink hand towel, bumblebees linning the bottom. "For your foot." He zips up the little section at the top of his jacket to stuff the bottom of his face in it. So cute.

"Thank you." We stand there, my body unable to move from the cold.

"Why were you hiding?" His voice remains monotonous, no energy or feeling behind it. It hurt me even more to know that I was the one who did that to him.

"I-I wasn't hid-"

"Yes you were." He looks off into the lake, breathing in deeply and closes his eyes. "You were hiding from me." He turns around, mounting onto his bike. "Because I'm trash, I get it." I flinch at how easily he said it, he wasn't spiteful about it just... sad.

"Jimin I-"

"I'm going now. I'm sorry you had to see me again." He nuzzles his nose into his jacket, peddling as fast as he could away from me. I watch him go, the wind blowing the hair away from his face as he rides by.

He was crushed by what I said earlier, taking it to heart. That's what I wanted right? To hurt him as much as he hurt me? This empty feeling crawls back, ripping away the slight happiness I felt having Jimin in front of me. I hate hurting Jimin. I don't want to do it anymore.

I want him back.

Ahhh Jungkook...