A Beautiful Lie || Jikook

i need help

I have a question...

So there's this friend of mine who has been my friend for 6 years. We are super close and we share everything together. But recently, I feel different towards her. Like I care more about her and we talk more and... I don't know.

I was going to ask her to go with me as friends for prom and over exaggerate everything as a joke. I got the biggest poster for her: ($20) and I got a pack of cards so I would make a 'House of Cards' and I was planning this whole thing for her.

But this guy comes in and asks her to prom today. She says yes cause everyone's looking and all that shit but I found out another friend of mine helped him plan it out.

No she didn't know I was asking her but like... you know she don't like white guys so??? Why would you give him hope?? It makes everyone uncomfortable! ANYWAYS.

She was telling it to me in this twitter group chat and she sorta found out I was gonna ask her. HER STUPID BROTHER RATTED ME OUT BUT THATS FINE OR WHATEVER

So here I am, looking at my phone of pictures they took together and wondering why the fuck I even tried anything in my life when someone else was just gonna fuck it up last minute. I was in the car with my mom and brother and I started crying on the way home.

Why the fuck am I crying?

Well I don't fucking know. I put all this effort into asking her to prom and now I can't. I tried to hide it from my family but my ass put Spring Day on repeat so it was real hard. I had to go walk my dog in the dark just so I could cry alone.

But my mom HAD TO FIND ME, SHE HAD TO SEE WHERE I WENT and she caught me at the playground in my neighborhood. She tried asking me why I was crying and what was wrong but I honestly couldn't tell her. She left, giving me a few minutes to cool down. I stayed for 5 more minutes before a car came and scared my dog, causing her to run home and me to run after her.... BUT. YOU KNOW.

Then I ran to my room like a little bitch and I'm still crying.

Please help. I don't understand why I'm feeling like this.

I'm seeing her again tomorrow...

fuck me