Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Katie

The music hit me hard as I wandered into the living room nerves driving me wild hardly muted by the joint I'd just enjoyed. Still it had been enough to stop me shaking at the thought of having them in my house, of having him in my house.

"Katieeeeee!" Cried Alice grabbing my hand before I'd even had the chance to get my balance. I said a little prayer under my breath, hoping that Fliss would come falling into our conversation and save me from the ordeal alice was about to expose me to. "Katie this is Benji, Benji this is Katie, she plays bass like you, perhaps you should have a bass off..." I shot her a glare and shut her up, unable to speak for a moment freezing up when he offered me his hand to shake.

"How're you doing love?" He asked his voice melting me. For a moment I couldn't respond, held completely speechless by his warm chocolatey gaze but not sooner had Alice shoved a drink in my hand was I able to snap out of it and smile.

"Grand thank you," I smiled at him unapologetically off my tits. "How are you?" I asked aware of the fact that my eyes kept straying to his bouncy hair. He grinned at me again trying to make conversation, though the haze that was beginning to settle over both of us made that a little difficult.

"Oh lovely thanks," he flashed me a smile, "are you... um alright?" He asked with a concerned sort of smirk studying me closely as I lost my footing a little and my cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment. Typical me.

"Um yeah just a bit... you know," I giggled a little, he only chuckled at me and shook his head, his curly hair bouncing in front of his eyes as he did.

"Do you wanna sit down somewhere um its Kate right?" He asked trying his best to stabilize me without touching me to intimately.

I couldn't help but giggle at him taking his wrist and closing my eyes for a moment to take a breath and get a grip on myself.

"Okay," I smiled, I imagine I looked crazy, like cassie from skins, all skinny and high and stupid. If I did he didnt seem to notice or if he did he didn't mind. "I feel better now,"

"Good" he chuckled, following me into the kitchen away from the music, he smirked at me as I wriggled to sit up on the counter and he had to once again reach out to stop me slipping. My cheeks flushed a little pink when his hand caught my waist, I bit my lip and tried to steady myself hoping that he wouldn't notice how nervous I was in his presence, though I think he was too caught up in his own awkwardness to see mine.

"Sorry," he said quickly snatching his hand away from my hip as he blushed himself. "Saffron says you're not much for crowds..." he said gesturing over his head to the other room where my friends and his friends shouted over the music and jumped around. I shook my head and smiled at the ground feeling a little bit silly for admitting it.

"They're just you know..." I trailed off unable to finish my sentence for his eyes studying my features, deep and chocolatey, pooling with warmth as he watched me struggle for words with a smirk.

"Yeah I know what you mean," he chuckled at me, his eyes flicking between me and the top of the tia maria bottle I was unscrewing. "You need more of that do you?" He raised his brow with a cheeky smile which I met with my own, relaxing a little as I took a swig and squeezed my eyes shivering violently as he laughed.

"No," I wined shaking my head, "no not at all ever again," he tried to hold back a smile as I pushed the bottle away.

"Did I really just hear Katie say no to alcohol?!" Gasped Alice as she walked in with Fliss close behind. Suddenly the kitchen felt a little crowded, it only being a tiny little box of a room.

"She's messing, you're messing right katie? She's messing, its alright Al shes messing," sighed Fliss dramatically taking in deep breaths as if she were a yoga instructor.

"Leave her alone will you!" Giggled Saffron taking a little clear bag from her top and dangling it in front of me. My eyes went wide as Benji smirked and tutted.

"I bought you a present my little sugar lamb darling," beamed saff waving the bag a little before dropping it into my the hands.

"Naughty that is," teased benji looking down at my hands with a smirk as I slipped the little bag into my back pocket sheepishly. The girls all started laughing about something else a little louder, overpowering our conversation as they fell about making more alcohol and giggling about something Jazz had said to Alice.

Benji looked from me to them and smirked a little rolling his eyes and pulling a face at me. I bit back a laugh as he offered me his hand to help me down from the side so that we might find somewhere quieter.

I couldnt help but question why he was so set on spending the night with me, when he could have been with his friends. Was he just being nice? Perhaps I was more gone than I thought, perhaps he felt obliged to look after me in case something bad were to happen.

We ended up upstairs in the bathroom me sitting in the bath and him on the edge of the toilet, I had the window open smoking, my head tilted back blowing clouds at the ceiling.
I'd insisted Benji allow me to make him a white russian, so now he sat with a cocktail glass in his hand listening to me talk about the other girls and the band.

He was lovely actually, very chilled out. I loved the girls like hell because they had all the energy and confidence I lacked, but it was nice to have someone to escape the party with for a change. Someone to disappear to the bathroom for a cheeky smoke and a deeper conversation.

"Is it weird?" I asked without finishing my question until he looked at me as of to say 'what the hell are you talking about?' I bit back a smile as I tried to find the words to explain. "You know, you don't like crowds but like you played a fuck tone of festivals last year... was that not weird, festivals are weird right?" I asked with a curious frown. We'd played festivals over the summer, just small ones and I'd still found the crowds that gathered a little bit unnerving. He grinned and shook his head again, every time he did I saw the way his hair bounced around and restrained a giggle. Every time he did it, restraint got a little more difficult.

"No, they're you know..." he trailed off trying to find a nicer way of putting it.
"Weird?" I offered with a small smile. He nodded but then shook his head and tried to rephrase what he wanted to say.

"Its not that I don't love them, theyre amazing like man you can't even comprehend how surreal it is when you look out and you don't recognise anyone in the crowd..."

"Thats the bit I think id find weird," I said with a soft smile he smirked and nodded.

"It is weird... and then they all want to talk to you and you just forget words you know..." he chuckled a little doing some kind of strange hand gesture as if to exaggerate his awkwardness. I giggled at that and nodded.

"I was never really good at that talking thing," I teased, "I mean what even are words?" I asked him with a cheeky smile that he couldn't help but reciprocate and once again I was double taking because Benji Blakeway was hiding from the party with me in my bathroom.

"So if you don't like parties, why did you come to the party?" I asked with a frown, "and why did you stay at the party?"

"Well, Van made me... said I had to come with him because I was his wingman..." I couldn't help but crumble to pieces laughing then cutting him off right before he got to the good bit. "And then it got to past midnight and I was enjoying our conversation too much to get up and go..."

"You mean you missed the bus..."

"Love I'm so lost here that I don't even know where to catch the bus from," he smirked shaking his head again, "ive missed at least 5 since we came up here," he grinned checking the time on his watch as he let out a yawn, "I don't mind though, this had been at least 10 times more stimulating than a night bus journey with Bondy and Lau..." he said dryly and I couldn't help but smile. There was a compliment tucked away in there somewhere.