Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Katie

"What?" I looked back at the girls, my heart plummeting to my stomach, my stomach twisting with nausea. I shook my head slowly, "no way..." I said, "no fucking way..."

"Kitty," sighed Saffron, her eyes were desperate but so were mine. "We need you to, we don't have a choice... you saw what Fliss is like theres no way she can perform tonight..."

"We can't cancel Kitkat," said Jazz his hand on my shoulder as he pulled me into his side. "Cmon kitty you know the words, you know the songs and you're the only one who isnt already singing.

I bit my lip and shrugged him away.

"Why can't saffy do it, she knows all the words too. We could just go without the harmonies for one or two nights till Fliss is better,"

"Kitty cmon sugarlamb dont be silly," groaned Alice, her empathy lacking. At first my heart had frozen but now it was racing and my hands were shaking and I wanted to cry because I knew there was no way I could win this.

I was going to have to take Fliss's place.

"I'll be a mess, theres got to be a better way of doing this..." I tried to protest but Saffy shook her head and shot me a sympathetic smile.

"I wouldn't make you do it if there was a better way darlin, you know that..."

"But what if I fuck it all into the ground, what then??" I looked back at her in disbelief.

"You can't fuck it up more than our fliss already has can you," snapped Alice suddenly, I jumped. Jazz frowned.

"Ally don't be a dick," he sighed, like he'd already had to say it a million times before.

Alice looked back at him from the other side of the hotel room, her cheeks burning as the room seemed to shrink around us. My breaths unsteady and sharp.

"Fuck off Jazz, she has!"

"Alice stop it!" Snapped Saffron who had been biting her lip to hide the tears which were forming in her eyes. She was going to cry and suddenly I felt a wave of guilt wash over me.

Of course saffron had been trying to fight Fliss's corner all day, she'd been trying to hold it all together for us all day. Fixing the holes where the rain gets in as best she could, and all we'd left her with was cotton wool.

"Fuck it," I sighed. "It'll be fine, I'll do it and it'll be fine, ally stop being a jerk, youve had comedowns worse than this one before..." I looked at her as gently as I could. We all knew she was hurting, we all knew she hated to see fliss so sick. We all knew she was going through something we couldn't even begin to imagine.

"Yes but not here! Not on fucking tour katie for christ sake! Shes been so irresponsible and now look, shes forcing you through this, shes fuckin ruined Saffron with the stress!"

"Alice shut up," Saffron cried suddenly, her lower lip trembling as she glared back at our friend. "Its not her fault okay, its not her fucking fault..."

"How isnt it?!"

I swallowed a lump in my throat. The tension was too much. I could feel my fingers quivering.

"Come on Ally, lets jus go for a cig," sighed Jazz, his hand on her back as he tried to steer her to the door and diffuse the situation.

"I don't want a cig..."

"Well you need a cig," he smirked but his smirk stopped her dead in her tracks. She shoved him away and turned to glare at us all, her eyes burning into us.

"Why can't you just wake up?!" She had tears streaming down her cheeks, "wake the fuck up!" It was as if she were begging us, desperately begging us, but there was malice in the undertones of her words and when she slammed the door behind her Saffron fell to the floor shaking with her own tears, hugging her knees to her chest as she sobbed into her sleeves. Jazz was at her side instantly, holding her close to him, rocking her and stroking her hair, but all I could do was stare at her.