Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Alice

"Hey hey hey girlo whats up with you?" Asked Larry making me jump when he joined me on the pavement outside the hotel. I had the face on and despite his teasing grin and lackadaisical chuckling when he poked me in the waist and shuffled close to annoy me, I didn't crack a smile. In fact I remained a statue. "Cmon mardy bum, whats up wi yous?" He nudged me again and I nudged him back and when I shrugged my shoulders he let out a sigh. "Fuckin hell, don't tell me I'm the only one who's not hungover..."

"I'm not hungover," I shrugged, "I just feel shit, I want to go home.." I said blankly, sucking in on my cigarette and then exhaling slowly.

"What really?" He asked his tone changing entirely, he looked more concerned than he did surprised but I could tell he'd not been expecting something so blunt.

"Yeah really," I said again already beginning to roll another cigarette.

For a moment he was quiet, watching my fingers struggle with tobacco, and then he spoke with a frown knitted neat into his thick black brows.

"Why?"

I shrugged my shoulders a little giving up on the cigarette because my hands were shaking too much.

"Go on giz," he smirked taking it from me, rolling it himself, "cmon ally somet must have changed?"

"Its not that nothing changed, something did change," I said, the combination of emotion and alcohol poisoning leaving a lump in my throat, I didn't know whether to cry or throw up on my shoes. "I just don't know why I'm so upset by it, I was expecting it you know..."

"What changed shug?" He asked giving me my rolled cigarette before taking out a straight of his own.

"Fliss," I said bluntly, "shes nothing like she used to be..."

"Isnt she?" His naive tone frustrated me and when I snapped I felt guilty.

"Obviously shes not,"

"Alri alri," he said hands in the air, lighter balanced between two fingers.

"Sorry, its jus shit you know... watchin a mate change like that, one day she was fine and the next she's either unconscious or on another planet,"

"I get it," he nodded, "but you're all as bad as eachother aren't you, I've never seen all of you sober at the same time..."

"Thats not true larry," I tried to smile, tried to pretend we weren't both still struggling through tension. We were though.

"Its a little bit true though isn't it... remember the day I met yous you told me yous couldn't remember the last time yous had all had a quiet one..."

"I still can't," I shrugged breathing out smoke and trying not to choke on it. "Thats sort of the problem..." I trailed off and we sat smoking quietly. We'd have stayed there a little longer had Kitty and Benji not wandered over, their own cigarettes in hand.

Kitty offered me a small smile as she sat down leaning back against the wall beside me and I tried my best to return it.

"Eyup Blakes," grinned Larry, "hows your head?"

"Wreckin," smirked Benji throwing himself down beside his friend.
We must have looked so cliche, all of us sitting in a line against the hotel wall, sunglasses shielding our eyes from the sun. "Andys called a band meeting an all, its just not the day for it..."

I smirked, looked between the two lads and shrugged my shoulders.

"You gonna give him the lowdown on who's fuckin who?" I said dryly, kitty frowned, Ben looked a little taken back and then larry let out a chuckle and shook his head.