Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Van

"What?" I asked, I wasn't as tired or as drunk as Fliss, the weed we'd smoked earlier that night only just beginning to wear off.
She rolled over a little and shifted among the sheets all lethargy and smoke entwined. I wondered what was going through her mind as she thought her elaboration through, I wondered whether she'd remember asking me tomorrow morning when she rolled over and woke up to queezy thursdays morning chorus.

"You know..." her voice barely reached the walls, soft and gentle, smooth and lovely. I smirked and she continued. "Getting us on the radio, getting us on a tour wi yous... why are you so nice to us?"

I let out a chuckle and rolled over to face the wall trying my best to think of something to say.

"Tell you what," I grinned, knowing that even know when she was more relaxed than she'd ever been before, teetering on the edge of dreamland, that I'd find a way to rile her. "If you remember to ask me tomorrow morning, I'll tell you,"

"But I asked you now..." she whined wriggling trying to kick me playfully her foot jabbing my waist.

"Ey you, we will not tolerate that kind of behaviour in this establishment..." I grinned kicking her back as carefully as I could. She squealed and jumped and wriggled some more, her body pushing up against mine. She didn't realise it but she made it so difficult to concentrate on anything other than her, she made it so difficult to string a sentence together before her eyes had the chance to flutter shut for a final time and I lost her to sleep.

The linen closet we'd always called my bedroom was tiny, with no window to let the light in and no space for anything personal, just shelves and shelves of bedding, towels and table cloths. Lying in my bed, top to tail with Fliss it felt smaller than ever before. A brutal reminder of the world I'd come from.

She'd never let on all that much about her life back home, with her mother, but already I could tell that she wasn't the kind of girl I'd have grown up with. She'd have been leagues above me, half the world away from me in terms of wealth and class. Even when she'd stayed with us as a child she'd have been a princess and I'd have been an urchin, sitting in the gutter watching her and her summer dresses in awe.

She stirred in her sleep and surprised me, mumbling something or other about pikachu or truman capote and then as I held my breath, she relaxed and settled back into soft sighs.

I wondered what she thought of me having realised that I'd lived here all along, I wondered what she thought of the home I'd grown up in now that she knew it in a different time. I knew I'd never get an answer out of her, I knew she'd skim over anything even remotely sentimental, but I didn't know why and that was, perhaps, the reason I was so keane to get under her skin.

It must have been around 6oclock when my mam woke up, her feet on the staircase shaking the floor a little. I strained my ears for the opening and closing of doors and somewhere inbetween the kitchen door opening and the kettle switching on, I drifted off myself, thoughts of Fliss kept at bay but only for a moment.

I woke up because Fliss woke up. Her leg kicked mine as she struggled to push herself up and roll out of bed. She swore under her breath several times searching through her jeans and her jacket, the rucksack left on my bedroom floor for her weed tin.

"Ey dunner smoke tha in ere," I yawned stretching out my arms, my voice scratching my desert throat.

"The fuck kind of crackpot dya think I am?" She flashed me a small smile, "am gagging for a ciggy though, yous got any baccy?" She yawned then too, the lethargy leaking from her eyes as she stood and lent against the door before slipping out of my trackies and back into her jeans.

"Yeah, give us ten," I mumbled rolling over and closing my eyes, letting her change in peace despite my desire to watch her stretch and wriggle her way out of my clothes.

When she sat back down at the end of my bed, legs crossed, watching me expectantly I decided to give in, roll back over and push myself up and out of bed.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and winced when I wobbled, my head spinning and aching, a sharp stab in my temple.

"So are you ready for the breakfast of a lifetime?" She asked me with a teasing smirk, watching me from where she sat, her eyes bright not bleary, the perfect picture of someone who hadn't been up until 3, high as a kite and spinning drunk.

I screwed my face up in confusion and drew a giggle from her, her whole torso shaking a little as she pushed her hair from her eyes and looked back at me.

"You know your mams breakfast, its all you and the lids were talking about last night..." she smiled bouncing a little with a childish smile. I chuckled and threw myself down beside her reaching for my cigarettes and my lighter. When I couldn't find then she flashed me another smile waving them in front of my face, biting her lip before jumping up, waiting eagerly by my bedroom for for me to lead the way.

"Anyone would think you'd never been here before," I smirked as we trundled down the stairs and out the back door, sitting on the edge of my mams hot tub and lighting up.

"A man of your word I see," she teased. "Proper little mammys boy arent yous," she smiling that bright mischievous sort of smile I loved to see grace her lips, but there was something in her eyes that looked like longing and it threw me a little so that once again I just didn't know what to say to her.

"Ey you'd be a mammys boy if she were your mam an all..."

She took a drag on a cigarette and smiled softly, looking at the space beside me and not at me as she spoke.
"Yeah," she breathed, "grass is always greener on the other side though int it," she forced a wider smile then and stubbed her smoke out in the ash tray I'd made from marys old dog bowl. My mam had always hated that, but since shed never brought a replacement it had always stayed.

When we finally made our way into the kitchen Benji and Katie were up, her head leaning on his shoulder, their hair messy as they spoke with my mother about London.

"Its always so busy I don't know how you cope, last time I was there it swept me off my feet, with those clam cards or whatever they are..." she was flustered just thinking about it and the girls couldn't hide their smiles.

"Oyster cards mam theyre called oyster cards," I smirked shaking my head as I began helping her with the breakfast.

"Oh you know what I mean," she shooed me away but I refused, I wasnt about to let her treat us like royalty. Everyone else had that covered. "Are the rest of the boys coming over?"

"Yeah," I yawned setting about sorting out the tea, putting the kettle on for a fresh pot. I could tell the room was bristling with the cliche british thirst for tea. "And the rest of the girls, theres a lot of us I'll finish it for yous..." I tried to argue but she wasnt having any of it.

"No no ryan for god sake sit down boy you look like youre about to drop dead on me boy..."

"I'm 24 mam..." I rolled my eyes. I heard the girls giggling behind me but Bob saved me with a knock on the door and by the time we returned Fliss had been distracted by the fridge magnets and Katie was nestled into Bens side.