Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Saffron

"A dooont want tyoo beh tuhched alllll the tiyme" i lay back on the green room sofa with my pony tail hanging over the edge in a long blonde tangle trail to the floor, trying to mock Fliss's accent, still just trying to finish my song and do something with it which didn't sound completely winey and pathetic.

I picked at the riff again half asleep, a little hungover, smirking sleepily at fliss when I caught her with her camera turned on me.

I stared it down before flashing her a dreary wink, knowing full well that now that song would be on insta along with my struggle and my sad hangover.

"Van says hes no sympathy for yous you dirty stop out," she grinned sipping her brew, "i canna believe you stayed up all night talkin shite with noel gallagher!" she giggled, "youre like polar opposites i cant believe you even get on," she carried on and I just shrugged because in truth I was surprised too. "Youre our little sundance kid like," she grinned, my simmering smile a smirking, sort of speechless response because I didn't know what to say to her.

I hadn't expected Noel sit down and talk to me at all, I hadn't expected a chat or a life lesson or even a set of listening ears from the man with the reputation of englands worst mard arse, but he had given me all that for seemingly no reason whatsoever.

Id been sitting exactly where I was now on a greenroom settee in the back room of a venue in manchester, still trying to finish this song.
And he'd sat down and leant back in the chair opposite me, sipping a brew, toying with a cigarette and said something like, "i dont know much about all this hashtag me too and all, but this what you're writin nows the kinda shit I wish me daughter would listen to and take note like.."

And I'd looked up and frowned and chewed my cheeks because every single word in that song felt deeply personal, felt like something no one else was going to understand the way that I did. But he'd been listening and he'd heard something he wanted his kids to understand and that was strange and unsettling.

I bit my lip, "I hope if she hears it she doesn't understand it," Id smirked a little dryly, simmering with self pity which made him smirk.

"And they told me you were the sunshine kid," he chuckled, "no i like it, its different you know you don't get many lasses like you lot in music anyway and then for you to come out with a song thats all nah actually fuck off I don't need lads to try and shag me to feel valid, thats cool as fuck lass..." he grinned and I bit back a small smile because it was nice that that was what he heard when I sang my song. It wasn't what I heard.

"Thats only a tiny bit what its about," i said quietly still picking at the strings, still softly trying to work out the last little bits but I was struggling with it and maybe this was why.

"Aye but its the bit that stands out love, thats the lasting line you know, the first bit people are gonna learn the words an sing back at you..." he said before placing his empty cuppa down on the table and pushing himself up.

He'd gone to the fridge, taken two beers and handed one to me.
He'd sat himself back down kicked his feet up on the table and taken my guitar off me, picking out the same chords I'd been playing.

"Whats the rest of it about then... If its not the upliftin feminist battlecry I heard," he was being selfaware, taking the piss. Perhaps thats what made it easier to shrug my shoulders and tell him like it was nothing.
Whatever it was we'd sat up all night talking about it and even when I'd shocked him or concerned him he'd remained the same.

Like you're dodgy uncle who's always taking the piss and doesn't treat you like a kid even though you really are.

And we'd emptied the fridge of beers and we'd ended up laughing about the whole thing. About Rhys and about Matty. About Johnny and the man from the bar.