Oxygen (Catfish And The Bottlemen/1975)

Van

"Van..." she started the second the door closed behind us and his shadow swept past the window moments later.

"No Fliss, I'm not..." I started and then I looked at her. I really looked at her and I let out a sigh. "Sorry," I breathed offering her my hand, "are you alright?"

She bit her lip, surprised by my sudden dissolve. And then, when she shook her head I knew what she looked like vulnerable. Naked and honest and fatigued.

"Come here darlin," I said softly, eyes pooling with warmth as internally I was wrecked with despair. "Come here," I said again as she took my hand and allowed me to reel her in slowly, cradling her head to my chest as I placed a kiss in her hair. "I was outside havin a smoke," I grimaced, "for five fucking minutes,"

She didn't say anything but she shook her head and squeezed me tighter, holding on for life.

"Thank you," she mumbled into my neck.

"Don't.." I started, but she smirked and cut me off.

"For not having another,"

I smiled a little relieved that she could crack even half a smile, but I couldn't relax and though I knew I couldn't convince her, wouldn't even try to convince her, I was going to have to finish this tonight.
Andy would be gone by morning.

"Fliss," I hummed into her hair rocking her slowly, gently, hoping to lull the fear which enshrined her.

Still she remained, silent. Still.

"Fliss, you're never gonna see him again," I said, "I promise you, I'll sort this out,"

She pulled away then, loose curls falling in her eyes as she looked up at me from under her lashes. Eyes dry but threatening tears. I looked down at her with all the assurance I could string together, a burning desire to wrap her up in my love and protect her, and she looked up at me with the white eyes of a rabbit who'd only just realised the dangers waiting for her in the long grass.

"Van..." she started to speak again, voice quiet, a little shakey.

"Fliss, darlin, let me do this for you, I know you're not the princess type but honey you can't do this on your own anymore," I said tenderly, thumb brushing over her cheek where his nails had broken her skin. "let me help you," I said, I saw her swallow a lump in her throat, I saw her struggling to fight back her tears. "Please darlin, this doesn't have to be all on you, let me make it my business,"

She bit her bottom lip, blinked three times and refused to look me in the eye. I ran my thumb across her lips and tilted her chin up slightly.
And then I sighed and gave in, kissing her shyly on the cheek, the corner of her mouth where her dimple should have been. I slid my hand down her arm and into her hand and I tugged lightly as I began to walk away.

"Come back to the venue with me baby, neither of us want you left here on your own," I smiled reassuringly at her over my shoulder. She forced half a sad smile too and grabbed my hoodie from the foot of the bed acquiescing at last.

We walked together across the car park, I could tell we were both counting our steps. Trying to stay calm for two very different reasons.

"Van..." started Fliss a little hesitantly, holding me back when I went to open the back door.
It was dark, the only light the green light of the fire escape door. It tinged her skin neon shades, the hazel of her eyes evergreen. "Don't hit him,"

I smirked, swallowed a bitter laugh because she knew me too well.

"I won't," i said, "I'll try,"

"Please?" I saw the flash of fear in her eyes and regretted my smile instantly, bending to her, hand on her shoulder, pulling her in once again.